Day 358: Are You A Fault Finder?

I can choose to see the beauty in my eyes
or the bags under them

Are You A Fault-Finder?

Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls; prepare to be unleashed. If you go about looking for what’s wrong in a room, a statement or even the way someone is looking; you will find it.

But if you look for the beauty; you will find that.

A fault finder is someone who gets up in the morning thinking about all the things they know will need to be set right. They think about the wrong that needs correction in their sleep. No one and nothing can ever do or be enough for them because at the end of the day, they don't measure up to themselves.

You can buy flowers for them, but then you learn that they don’t like roses. You can take them out to dinner, but the waitress keeps looking at them funny and their food has to be sent back twice.

You can never do enough for a fault-finder because they are not satisfied with themselves.

My question is not about knowing a fault-finder; my question is about being one.

As a parent, I am constantly trying to catch myself when I get into fault-finding mode. I want my children to do and be well; consequently, my loving correction can often go too far.

I use a simple tool for this self-correction; I tell myself that whatever I am saying to my children, God is saying to me. OUCH!

“Don’t ask for something when you haven’t been grateful for what you have,” I say to my children and then I say okay, I know that’s got to be for me also.

The fault you find in others is the fault you see in your own self. It may not be the same action, but it is most surely the area of your own insecurity.

You find fault in someone’s looks----you probably don’t like your own.

If you are constantly finding fault in the relationships of others; be mindful of your own.

If you don’t care for someone’s beliefs, try living up to the ones you profess.

This is a hard lesson at a hard time of year, and I have to apply it when I think it, write it and share it. It’s rough, I know---so just flip it over.

 The goodness you see is the goodness you see in yourself.

Be you, be well, be looking for the good.

Bertice Berry, PhD.