Wednesday, October 12, 2016

Gratitude: A State of Being

On Gratitude

I just a big lesson on the difference between being grateful and being possessive.

As I walked out of my home for what could have been the last time, I came to a definitive conclusion; I am not my stuff.

Last week, the folks of Coastal Georgia and Haiti and Florida and Haiti, South and North Carolina, Haiti and did I mention Haiti, experienced the devastation of Hurricane Matthew. While the storm has long gone, we are all still dealing with the aftermath (especially the folks in Haiti.)

Streets that were here are now blocked by the huge oaks that once lined them. Power lines and sewage have tainted the drinking water and then there is the mold.

So where is the gratitude in all of this?

Being grateful should not be reduced to clich├ęs and comparisons. If I had a dollar for every, “It could be worse,” or “At least you have your power back,” I could really make a difference in Haiti.

Gratitude is a foresight and possessiveness is hindsight. When we look back on what we had or what we think we might have had, we miss the opportunity to see what can be.

Gratitude is a window of hope. It is not an act, but a state of being. Let me be more direct; either you are grateful, or you are not. Gratitude is not one and done. You are not truly grateful one moment but not the next. Being grateful is a lot like being nice. When you are a nice person, others feel it.

Ask your own self the following:

Do you see possibility for goodness or fear the worse?

Do you live in fear of those who are different or do you seek to (re)connect?

Do you work on the foundation of the future or are you obsessed with the next big or flashy thing?

Can you be happy in the moment or do you your emotions rush to the part where you know the good time must end?

Grateful is a state of being. We have become possessive creatures who can only be happy when our stuff outshines someone else’s.

Know this; we are all connected and we are connected to everything.

The tree that fell yearns for its roots and the fatherless child who was killed by that tree yearns for the root of all beings.

Be Grateful.
Bertice Berry, PhD.

Monday, October 3, 2016

What Do You Attract?

Attracting Love

Yesterday, I had the opportunity to experience some of what my home town offers. 
Every place has its own flavor, color and lesser-known joys, but I live in a truly magical place.

The event was the Picnic in the Park with the Savannah Philharmonic. It was held in Forsythe Park and it was packed. My daughter and I arrived an hour early, enabling us to get a prime spot for both our blanket and our car.

More family joined us later, but before they did, we’d made friends with everyone around us. This is no exaggeration. Folks came over to my lounge chair (which had some-how turned into a very low recliner) to introduce themselves, talk about local restaurants, and even to complement our colorful blanket.

As the crowd grew larger, space was very limited and we became the spot where folks in search of a drink, or friend, meandered through the tight spaces, winding up at our blanket.

They’d beg our pardon, give many obliges, “Hey Baby’s, and other Southern greetings.

Our family (in the form of the young folks I call my nieces and nephews) arrived and the diversity of our blanket grew richer. Our surrounding "new" friends wanted to know how we’d all met, where they were from and what we kept laughing about.

We listened to great music and chatted about life and the joys thereof when I noticed a little boy who kept moving his chair closer and closer to mine until the two chairs were touching. The little boy told me his name and asked for mine.  

His parents noticed and told him to remember what they had said about personal space. 

I assured them that he was safe with us and that we would watch out for him. They said he was a handful and I simply nodded and told them that I understood. They relaxed back in their spaces and my new little friend relaxed in ours.

Then something beautiful happened. This little boy, who had been a stranger turned to me said, “You know what, I love you.” I smiled and said “Honey, I love you too.”

He kept smiling and then he said, “And I have a secret to tell you.” Looking deeply in my eyes he said, “I really love everyone and everything, but right now, I love you more than anything else.”

I could not contain my tears. In that moment, I felt that my heart had been healed.

As if he fully and completely understood the joy from my tears, the young boy sat beaming with pride and he hugged me tightly.

When it was time for us to leave, we were told by him and everyone around us that we were a joy to be with.

We all have the power to change the energy in a space. We have the ability to radiate love and joy wherever we are. We always have a choice. It’s not always easy, but it is possible.

How can you shine more brightly?

How can you be the light in a room?

Who needs your love today?

Be you, be well, be the love.

Bertice Berry, PhD.

Monday, September 19, 2016

The Future of Business

The Future of Business:
The Graybar Way

I believe that if you live right, life has a way of coming back around to give you what you have been giving to others.

Some call it karma, some reaping and sewing; I call it a wonderful life.

My work affords me the opportunity to meet and greet people who do the things that we don’t pay attention to but could never live without.

We’ve all sat behind a Graybar truck and have had the benefit of their business.

I recently had the chance to meet the folks who provide electrical, communications and data networking services throughout this nation.

I’ve worked with amazing companies and have met some really powerful people. This past weekend, I had a chance to peek into the future.

Every so often, I work with an all women’s audience. I love this work. I believe that as more women succeed in business, everyone will have the opportunity to succeed in life.

We’ve all got a ways to go; men need to sponsor and support more women and women have to do a much better job supporting each other, but that’s a conversation for another day.

When I’m lecturing, I like to get to the meeting place early. I want to take in the space before it’s filled with the great minds that will occupy it.

This past weekend, I walked towards the meeting rooms a little lost and a little confused. A young man wearing the company’s logo shirt stopped and asked if he could help me.

I thanked him and told him that I was looking for the Women in Graybar or W.I.N.G.S breakfast and he smiled and said, I’ll show you the way. The young man told me his name and informed me that he did not have the privilege to attend but he was sure that I would enjoy it.

I actually scratched my head. I was confused and amused at the same time.

I’ve been speaking at women’s meetings since I became a woman but I’ve never seen a man yearning to attend one.

There were other folks sitting outside of the room. They all acknowledged me and said good morning.

I walked in the room expecting it to be empty, but I was surprised to be met by the CEO herself.

Kathleen Mazzarella (The Margin Ninja) is brilliant, energetic, warm and compassionate and she is the future of business.
Kathy is one of two woman to lead a Fortune 500 company of this kind, and the only one of this size but she is as humble as she is powerful. 

Kathy extended her hand to greet me, squinted her eyes, read me faster than I’ve ever been read and decided that a hug was my preferred greeting; she was right.

As the room began to fill up, I was surprised and somewhat proud to see that this women's event was attended by men as well. The men made up about 40-45 percent of the room. 

In an industry where men make up an overwhelming percentage of the workforce, and women a tiny percent of the leadership, Graybar is truly remarkable. 

After I spoke, folks stood in line to greet me. They all shared heart-warming stories, tears and laughter.

What moved me to my own tears was the number of people asking what they could do to change the world. Some wanted to find young folks to sponsor, some wanted to combat racism and sexism and some wanted to level the playing field.

Kathy, the CEO was still there waiting for me and when everyone else was gone, I asked her how she managed to find so many amazing people.

She smiled and said, “We hire nice people. Business is work, it should be done with good folks.”
We stood and talked longer (actually we closed the place down) and I left smiling.

Life is coming back around. 

Graybar was founded in 1869. It’s got a remarkable history of firsts in electricity, telegraphs, telephones, fire alarms and much more. You may not know who they are or what they do, but you can not live without them.

Graybar is hiring. If you are smart, flexible and kind, if you want the world to be a better place and know that it starts with you; if you want to work hard, learn, think, grow and be happy, Graybar has 800 positions that may just have your name on one of them. To learn more

The Graybar way is the future of business, it’s smart with a heart. Get on board or be left behind.

Be you, be well, be the future.

Bertice Berry, PhD.

Tuesday, September 13, 2016

Preconceived Outcomes:
Are you setting yourself up for self-fulfilling prophesy?

When I travel, I tend to leave a day in advance. I book flights with at least two hours of connecting time between them.  That way if my first flight is delayed, I still have the opportunity to catch the connecting flight.

I rarely have to rush through airports or get annoyed by the inevitable delays associated with travel.

I try to take the first flight out, since the plane is almost always there from the night before and I have my breakfast in the airport lounge. 

I give myself loads of time to get to the gate giving me just enough time to people watch or read.

A few days ago, I got to my gate early and sat down. The woman next to me immediately began to chat me up.

She was pleasant and like me on a business trip. Our plane arrived and an old travel buddy came off the plane. We spotted each other and acted like kids on the playground.

“I was thinking about you last week.” I told her. We exchanged hugs, good wishes and enquired about each other’s children. (Hers were of the four legged variety.)

I learned that she had had to put one of her babies down and we hugged again. She was off to her next flight and I felt warmed to remember that even in the airport, I have close friends.

The woman I had just met, commented how special that was and how she had moved away from family but had not really connected since then.

Just as she said this, the gate agent announced that we had to move to another gate. The woman sighed and said, “It’s always something.”

I smiled and we walked to the new gate. Once there, our pilot made an announcement informing us that the original plane had a maintenance issue and would take 4 hours to fix, but that he’d called and got a new plane so we'd be leaving about a half hour late but would land only 15 minutes later than the scheduled arrival.

I smiled and my new travel buddy asked why. I told her that my friend had been on that original plane, but it had landed safely. I went on to say that the delay could have been much worse, but all we had to do was walk to another gate.

She stared at me and said, “I like your outlook. I wish I could be more like that, but my job has given me a team of young folks who have never done this work and a big assignment that’s very important.

I smiled again and again she asked why. I told her that the young newbies all had something to prove. They were fresh and excited and ready to work for her. She frowned and began to sweat and said, but they don’t know anything.

I told her that they knew plenty. They had degrees that were fresher than hers and new eyes on an old problem. I informed her that her team had no expectations or preconceived notions about how difficult or as she had put it, “impossible” the job was, so they would be eager, unless…

I paused and allowed her to ask the question and when she did, I told her.

“Unless you go in with a preconceived outcome before you even start. Unless you decide that your team is not worthy of your respect and unless you really do believe that you are all alone.”

Then she smiled and said that she had sat down in the right seat.

What have you already decided?

How can you reframe your thinking?

How can you turn quick encounters into meaningful exchanges?

Be you, be well, be conceived.
Bertice Berry, PhD.

Wednesday, August 31, 2016

The Certain and the Unknown

The Certain and the Unknown

I  had a call with a client about an upcoming event. During our talk, we discussed the changes and transformation the organization was going through. 

The call was informative and all business like until the senior executive said something that went through my very soul.

This woman who has worked hard and long to achieve the big title she has, said that her organization was going through loads of change; some good, some not so good.

She went on to say that the company was experiencing a lot of unknowns but that they also had a great deal of certainty.

I asked her to repeat what she’d just said and when she did, my heart actually danced and I had those chills you get when you feel the expectancy of something  good.

We all have unknowns, but still, there are certainties.

Too often, we lean into the worry and concern around the unknowns. Our mind flips through every negative “what-if,” in our rolodex of fear and we fail to realize that we can also choose to imagine the positive.

What are the certainties in your life?

What do you know that you know that you know?

Keeping in mind that your brain does not really know the difference between what is real and what is imagined and that stress affects you whether founded in the real or the imagined, what can you imagine better?

I’ve been sitting here watching the clouds of what could be that much talked about tropical storm. I remember how my mother would make us unplug everything, turn off all lights and sit far away from the windows.

I begin to worry and wonder about the giant trees and all of the glass on my house, but then I lean into the certainties.

I know that these trees have been here for hundreds of years.

I know that God is love.

I imagine the storm blowing back out to sea or at least waiting until everyone is safe and surrounded by love.

As I sit and meditate towards the certain, I watch as the clouds roll away and a humming bird dances in front of my window.

Life is full of unknowns; it’s also full of certainty. Choose your seat and sit down.

BE you, be well, be loved.

Bertice Berry, PhD.

Wednesday, July 13, 2016


In this time of chaos, confusion, hatred, anger, shame, regrets, loss and lack, I’d like you to imagine a better world.

See it clearly, with great detail. Imagine.

 Use all of your senses to create the experience of a future in the very near future.

We need you and we need it now.

Imagine, See, Be, the change we need in the world.

Be you, be well, IMAGINE

Watch as the conversation unfolds

In this time of chaos, confusion, hatred, anger, shame, regrets, loss and lack, I’d like you to imagine a better world.

See it clearly, with great detail. Imagine.

 Use all of your senses to create the experience of a future in the very near future.

We need you and we need it now.

Imagine, See, Be, the change we need in the world.

Be you, be well, IMAGINE