Monday, December 28, 2015

Sunday School With President Carter

Sunday School with President Carter

When my sister-friend Bryn asked if I wanted to go to Plains, Georgia for Sunday school with President Jimmy Carter, I think all of my neighbors heard me scream “yes.”

 Sunday school with the 39th President of the United States is something that I’ve always wanted to do, but until I actually did it, I had no idea how much I needed to.

Plains is about 3 and a half hours of mostly country road from where I live. You have to go there the day before, stay overnight in a hotel and then get up and stand in line for a few hours with folks who have come from all over the world for this experience and I was happy to do so.

Bryn’s husband Tim drove so I had the chance to sit in the back seat making all kinds of Ms. Daisy references, sing Christmas carols and country music and actually see the beauty that surrounded us. 
We had a blast. We laughed about the silliest things, talked politics, policy and sociology. We developed ideas for work and for making the lives of women better while we giggled like children in anticipation of the big event.

As joyful as we were, we had no way to know that our joy would be made even fuller.

I’m going to get to it as best as I can (even my thoughts have a Southern drawl) but I’ll tell you now, there’s no way I can do that day justice.

I’d love to tell you all about the church and the members, especially Ms. Jan, the woman who told us what to do, say, and how to act. I’d love to go into the detail of how a church of 30 members provides food and shelter for tens of thousands of needy folks. How they host hundreds of visitors every week, and how the secret service have to make sure each of them stays in line. (I do believe that even they follow the instructions of Ms. Jan, who also taught Amy Carter when she was in the 4th grade.)

I’d love to tell you all about sitting right behind the President and Mrs. Carter as we all sang Go Tell It On The Mountain, but I need to tell you this; once I got beyond my excitement, awe, respect, admiration, and plain old geeked-out spasms, I got a powerful Sunday school lesson that will affect me forever.

The President outlined the four songs of Christmas. He spoke of Isaiah’s servant song, and Mary’s Maificat; how it turned the world upside down. 
“It transforms the consciousness of human beings about our creation,” President Carter said. Through her calling and reaction, he said, “The lowly become key players in God’s kingdom.”

The President went on to outline Zechariah’s Benedictus and pointed out a most important lesson; "That we should not worry about what we will do, but the kind of person we should be."

“If you want to be a better person,” President Carter said, “Copy the life of Christ.”

He went on to the Song of Simeon; Nunc Dimittis. Through the song of the devoted Simeon, the old man who waits at the temple, we know that we are connected to a partner who “knows everything and can do anything,” the President said.

Then he tied it all together and I was moved to tears, commitment and service.

“We are to be a little Christ. A light to all nations. We have been given the opportunity which some would call a duty; to show love, compassion, grace, forgiveness to all the world. Our life and freedom give us the choice to serve. The greatest prayer we can have is the prayer of Simeon to know the promise of the Mesiah.
Jesus taught us the proper relationship between ourselves and human beings. Through this we must know that we are all equal, worthy and important.
It is because of this that we know that success according to Christ, looks very different than it does to the world. The greatest in the Kingdom is the servant of all. So we are to demonstrate peace, justice, service, compassion and love.
When we do, we will be able to see God’s will be done on earth as it is in heaven.”


Be you, be at peace, be joy.

Bertice Berry, PhD.


Monday, December 21, 2015

Share the Gift of You

She's already sharing her story
Share the Gift of You

A few days ago, I sat with a friend in the hospital. She was recovering from a surgery but was still her normal bubbly, brilliant self.

I’ve known her for many years and have heard many stories of her life and journey, but on that day in the hospital, she gave me the gift of herself. I felt that she had opened her heart and poured it out to me. I heard stories of her youth, of pain and hardship. There were stories of triumph and adventure, stories of joy and of sorrow.

My daughter sat attentively listening with great interest and I was amazed by my own need to truly hear.

My friend is not near her end, far from it, but she (and her meds) had allowed herself to share the gift of her own life.

This past weekend, I’ve heard other life stories and was inspired, moved and thrilled with how they all connected and intersected with the twists and turns of my own life.

Then I remembered something I heard a few weeks before at a business meeting; we have many pathways but are on the same journey.

During this week of run, grab wrap and give, take the time to share the gift of you.
Listen to a story.

Share your own.

Visit with someone who can’t get up and out.

Find points of intersection between your life and that of someone else’s and you will find your own way.
Be you, be well be the journey.


Bertice Berry, PhD.

Monday, December 14, 2015

Storing Joy

 My mother often reminded me that there was nothing new under the sun. She’d say this whenever I’d come in with a new pair of platforms, trying to show her a new dance.

My mommy would trace the origins to something she had already done, seen, heard or had been a part of and I was humbled.

My mom was born in 1918, and she had an incredible memory. She was raised by her grandparents, so for her, time went way, way back.

“There’s nothing new under the sun, but there’s always a new way of seeing it,” she said in her later years.

My mother kept reading and learning until her very last days, so whenever I learn something new, I am reminded of her.

Yesterday, in Sunday school, Rev. Liam was teaching a class about this beautiful season of Advent. He talked about surprises and Mary and his own journey from Ireland to college and then the U.S.

He told us how he left home at 15 and found work in the wine cellar in the U.S. Embassy. Liam shared that one day an ambassador informed him that he would help him go to college.

Those dangburn public tears of joy began to stream down my face as I recalled my benefactor, Terry Evenson, the man who helped me to go to college.

I marveled at the similarity of our paths and then I got my new thing. Liam shared with us the idea of storing your joy. He said that we can celebrate the moment in the now, but store the memory away for the not yet.

Stored joy enables us to be grateful in moments of doubt and disbelief. Stored joy keeps us in the awareness that all things truly do work together.

Liam continued the lesson by asking if we are surprised by pain, calamity and suffering or by joy.

The paradigm of your belief should and must be rooted in joy because what you seek, you will find; seek joy.

My mother was right; there is nothing new, but there is always a new way to see---joy.

Store your joy and be surprised by what it brings.

Be you, be well, be joy.


Bertce Berry, PhD.


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Wednesday, December 2, 2015

Living in The Now and The Not Yet

Living In the Now And The Not Yet

This past Sunday, I heard a sermon that changed me forever. Rev. Helen White was talking about being able to withstand the day in the face of chaos and confusion.

“See yourself in the now and the not yet,” she exclaimed.

Rev. Helen shared a meditation whereby you imagine yourself in the midst of any place under attack. She instructed us to imagine the madness around us while imagining ourselves standing tall against the attacker.

As she spoke, tears began to stream down my cheeks and I could not stop them.

I was somewhere in my own mind wondering how to face the things that had me down.

“See yourself in the now and the not yet.” I heard Helen say. I imagined the chaos and to my joy, I simultaneously saw that because all things works together, the world was a much better place and I had somehow imagined it so.

I’ve always had a hard time with being fully present. I want to be here and in the future at the same time, and Helen had given me the opportunity to do just that.

Right now, as I write this, I am present. I am at my keyboard smelling the wonderful dish of curried vegetables that was made by my friend Sasha, being reheated by my daughter Fatima. I can hear the sound of the oven door being opened and feel the condensation on the cool bottle of water next to me. I am fully present and yet, I’ve floated forward and I am seeing all of the possibilities I can imagine.

I see my granddaughter interrupting me with marvelous questions (she’s three months old.)

I see email from folks who say that I’ve inspired them thanking me for helping them to see.

I see myself as whole and healthy and I know then as I do now that I am loved, adored and well thought of.

As I look at my own present day refection smiling back at me, I see the now and the not yet.

Be you, be present, be future.
Bertice Berry, PhD



Thursday, November 26, 2015

What You Really Need

What I Have Now

Every year, between my birthday and Thanksgiving, I make the time to organize and assess all that I have accumulated throughout the previous year.

I reorganize closets and bookcases, shelves and cabinets. I go through my phone and email to organize and reconnect with folks I’ve neglected and need to say, “Thanks” to.

I rearrange furniture to maximize its use and I wash pots and pans and blankets and linens that have been stuffed in a closet somewhere. I organize jewelry and marvel at things that I felt I had to have, but haven’t yet worn.

Every year, I am amazed at the feeling of satisfaction that comes with each new discovery. I am always warmed by the gifts I’ve received and the letters of gratitude that have come my way.

A feeling of satisfaction; an awareness that I have enough comes over me and I am full.

Christmas goes by without a need to binge shop, because I know that I have enough and am enough.
I’d like to believe that I’m getting better at this every year; that with each assessment of what I have, 
I become more aware of what I no longer need.

This year, I was able to see another aspect of this awareness. As I cleaned and organized, I was able to move nebulizers, unused medications, canes and surgical boots.

You really don’t miss the water until the well runs dry. So I’m asking you to pay attention to the water, the wellness, the life and stuff you already possess.

Be grateful for people who love you already. Give thanks to those who call and text and come by to say hi.

Be thankful for your aches and pains, because your body is still well enough to let you know when you need to rest.

Touch the table you dine at and give thanks that it’s still there. Turn on a light and actually think of the folks who do the work and for the work you’ve done to pay the bill.

Give thanks and know that if you are reading this, you are loved.


Be you, be well, be thankful.

Bertice Berry, PhD

Monday, November 16, 2015

A Call for Helpers

Send Out Love

This past week, I’ve had more than one reason to call for prayer. 

It happens when I've seen something in the world that leaves me speechless, so I will wake up my children wherever they are and ask that they pray with me. I’m usually too stunned or sad to lead the prayer myself, so one of them will have to do it.

After the attacks in Paris, and I called for prayer, my daughter reminded me of a quote from Fred Rogers. Mr. Rogers, as he’s known to children of all ages, said,

“When I was a boy and I would see scary things in the news, my mother would say to me, ‘Look for the helpers.’ You will always find people who are helping.”

So I’m calling for helpers; those who are willing to do whatever they can from wherever they can.

I need you to send out love. Light a candle, say a prayer and most importantly, send out love. Take a moment in every hour to sit silently in peace. Meditate on love. Think of the helpers; the ones who raise the energy so high that the story moves from one of pain, to one of love.

In times like this, we often feel that we need to be angry, but I am learning that what we really need is more love.

When you increase your wellness, you eradicate the sickness before it even happens. I’m imploring you to do the same for the world.

Send out love.
Be you, be well, be love.
Bertice Berry, PhD.




Monday, November 9, 2015

Why Are You Playing Small?

Playing Small
 
Sometimes when I am not feeling my normal me, I talk to myself. I don’t do it in my own voice, because I know that’s just me, I do it in the voice of Nelson Mandela. (If you think I’m crazy, you should meet my children.)

I often quote President Mandela, quoting Marianne Williamson from Return to Love.

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate, our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that frightens us…There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you.”

By the time I get to the shrinking part, I feel my help coming.

Too often, we feel the need to be less of who we are and are meant to be. We don’t want to offend or think too highly of ourselves.

We’ve all been told that we are not, “all that.”

I’m telling you that you are. You are beautiful and amazing. You are a light and were meant to shine as children do.

When my granddaughter is carried into a room, she doesn’t have to do anything. Everyone wants to hold her, to touch her fingers and toes and to just be near her. We all know that she truly is a bundle of joy.

I feel that it’s my job to make sure she always feels that way.

I know that life will tell her that she shouldn’t think she’s cute or smart or terrific but I hope that I’ll be near whenever it does.

At that point I will do my best Nelson Mandela impersonation and remind her that, “She was born to make manifest the glory of God that is within.”

Stop playing small. Stop shrinking so others may shine. The world needs every light, when you shine, you give others permission to do the same.


Be you, be the light, SHINE!
Bertice Berry, PhD.




Monday, November 2, 2015

Fitting In

Nic and his beautiful wife Radhika, BELONG-ING
Be Where You Belong


Last week, when I wrote about belonging and feeling worthy, my friend Nic commented that he knows that he belongs when he is comfortable. In other words, Nic is comfortable in an environment where he  belongs.

On the surface, this seems too simplistic, but I should tell you a few things about Nic; he is always himself. Nic is a solid young man with strong ideas and values and he lives what he values and believes. Nic is authentically, authentic.

I believe that because he has learned to be himself, he has a very strong indicator of where he belongs. This is not to say that he does not feel discomfort; he does, and in those moments he checks himself; “Am I doing what I set out to do; is this in line with who I am?” Then he looks at the room, “Is there where I belong?”

As I reflected on Nic’s comment I realized how profoundly useful this thinking is. I looked over my own life and times of discomfort and realized that in practically every point of life changing discomfort and decision making, I was being asked to compromise my authenticity and my values. I was not where I needed to be; I did not belong.

Many years ago, I hosted a nationally syndicated TV show. At the end of the first season, I was given a “choice.” I could cut my dreadlocks off and do salacious topics, and have the show renewed or not and have the show canceled.

I was also told that if I did make the changes, I would receive a signing bonus of a million dollars. This was in the nineties when a million was still a million. I was caring for my family and working hard, so I did not take this decision lightly. Still, I was terribly uncomfortable.

My reason for doing television was for the purpose of uplifting and informing people. I had been hired with the promise that I could be myself and do just that, but then I was told to do and be the opposite.

I thought hard and long and the more my thoughts drifted away from my values, the more uncomfortable I was. Ultimately, I decided to be where I belonged.

The show was canceled, in spite of high ratings and growth.

We spend our lives trying to figure how to get folks to like us, when we don’t fully know or like ourselves. (By the way, it is also true that people who love themselves don’t have a hard time liking others.)

Spend less time trying to belong and more time knowing where to belong.

Spend less time trying to get folks to like you, and more trying to like yourself.

Spend less time trying to fit something that doesn’t fit you and more time being where you belong.

As my young friend Nic points out, when you belong, you will be comfortable.

Be your best self, be where you can be your best self, be comfortable.

Bertice Berry, PhD.

Thursday, October 29, 2015

Don't Forget to Dream

Don’t Forget to Dream

This morning while walking, I was reminded of a dream I had many, many years ago.

When I was a child, I lived on a street that was actually an alley. There were two houses, rows of lime green storage garages and the clubhouse of a motorcycle gang. The motorcycle gang was called the Thunder Guards, and that’s exactly what they sounded like.

Back then, I dreamt of living in a peaceful place; a place like the Brandywine Park. 

The Brandywine was within walking distance so I was free to go there to dream. It was like a fairytale complete with a river, waterfalls and marsh grass. The trees were bright green and the air was sweet.
I dreamt of living in a place like that, far from the alley where I actually lived.

This morning while walking down my road, I remembered the dream and realized to my joy that I was standing in the center of that childhood dream.

As soon as I made the connection, I thought of the other dreams that have informed my life. I recalled how every night I wished on a star that one day I would be able to go to that faraway place called college, paid for by the father who would come and reclaim me.

I did get to college. It was with the help of a beautiful man named Terry Evenson who became like a father to me.

I dreamt that one day I would entertain, educate and uplift folks and that I’d be able to make a living at it and I do.

And I fantasized that one day I would write books that young dreamers like me would read and I’m doing that too.

Everything starts with a dream; every theory, idea and invention. Every book, song, building, park and fashion design started with someone’s imagination at work.

Today, take a moment to dream. Allow your mind’s eye to conjure the most wonderful and positive notion it can create and then give yourself 5 minutes to dream.

You be so glad that you did.
Be you, be well, be a dreamer.

Bertice Berry, PhD

Tuesday, October 27, 2015

Stop Being Taken for Granted

Taken for Granted
 
Up and Out
I was truly sick and tired of being taken for granted; but then I realized that the taking had been done by me.

I wake up giving thanks, but giving thanks and being thankful are two different things.

Then it happened; I couldn’t breathe and was losing consciousness. I woke up on the floor and an EMT was standing over me.

A few days later, it was discovered that I have been pushing though severe adult onset asthma.

When I tell you that I am now grateful for every breath, ever word, every song; I truly mean.

I ain’t got time to be otherwise. I am even grateful for asthma----well, I’m getting there, me and my harmonica.
Asthma is severe, but so am I. 

I feel like I’ve been given a chance to truly see. All of the crap that has been bothering me is largely due to this thing that had gone undiagnosed.

I’m much better and I am grateful. I’m even grateful for the steroid effect---pumped up, but still here.

Whatever you are going through, keep smiling.
Keep breathing.
Keep being grateful.

Stop giving thanks to something out there and be thankful for you, because that’s where God is.

Be you, be well, be grateful.
Bertie Berry, PhD.


                            Order Walking With Purpose Colliding With Destiny TODAY

Monday, October 26, 2015

Belonging 

At the big kids table

The theme of belonging keeps coming up. I heard it yesterday in a brilliant sermon and I keep seeing it on the faces of folks who just want to fit in. 
I sometimes feel it when I’m seeing myself as the kid who did not belong.

We all want to belong, and at times there will be someone who decides that you are just not worthy. The more you try to fit in; the more they shut you out.

This in-group thing happens all the time, everywhere. Even as adults we often struggle with the cliques of life.

Every week, I get the opportunity to speak to thousands of folks. I am enriched by the stories they confide and I am encouraged by the letters and love they share. Still, I sometimes fixate on the one that won’t let me in.

In a few weeks, I’ll be old enough to set the world on fire. I have decided, and I’d like you to do the same that I already belong; I always have.

Right now I am sitting at the cool kids table and even though it’s in my kitchen and no one else is here, I belong.

No one can put you on the outside of your own life. No one should be able to make you feel unworthy. (You have to give them permission.)

While you may want to be accepted by someone in particular; know that you accepted by those who love you.

Share with those who already LIKE your likes.

Spend time with those in need; they will be happy to see you.

Tell jokes to those who like to laugh.

Share books with those who read.

Maybe worthiness is really about knowing where to plant your feet.

BE you, be well, be loved.

Bertice Berry, PhD.


Wednesday, October 7, 2015

Status Update

Not Just a Single Mother

                                                                                               

It’s been a long time coming. I’m no longer a single mother; although I never truly felt like one. Whenever folks asked if I was a single, I told them no, that I have children.

 Now, I can proudly proclaim that my status has been updated. I am now a single grandmother.

For years, I’have endured the strangers who flash pictures of the newborn grandchild. I have listened to thousands of stories about babies who could raise the dead –I mean their grandfather.

For the most part, I listened attentively, or at least I thought I did. I had no idea why grown men wept at the sight of pictures they knew they had, or why women waxed poetic about a vacation of diaper changing.

I do now. My son’s and daughter-in-love's daughter Alayna Rose has brought me to that same place of crazy. I too ambush strangers with stories and pictures of the most beautiful baby on the planet.

It is with more pride than I deserve (because I was not in labor all night) that I declare my new status as a single grandmother.

BE you, be bold, be NEW


Hey grandma, I just turned 4 weeks old
                                                                                                 

Monday, August 31, 2015

Colliding WIth Destiny


Colliding With Destiny

“Life really is generous to those who pursue their destiny.”

                                                                                                                          ~~Paulo Coelho

 

            When you walk with purpose you collide with destiny. The problem is, we don’t know when that destiny moment may be. We are too quick, too impatient, and too fearful about the stuff that doesn’t matter. So much so, that we can’t be available to those moments that do.

            The brilliant psychologist, Naim Akbar, PhD. said that we must ask ourselves on a daily basis, “Why, me, here now?”

            This simple question, once posed is an invitation for the Universe to open itself to you, revealing the desires, opportunities and truth that lie in the everyday mystery/miracles.

Destiny is never one-sided. It is not only for you. While purpose is about your individual call to God;  destiny is a response to you and the collective.

            If a something is just for you, it’s something you took, earned, or found. A blessing must multiply more than once. It will affect your immediate community and then the world.

The question of, “Why, me here now,” requires that you not just ask, but that you act. You must look for ways to apply the purpose of your life to the needs of others and when you do, a sea of possibility opens up.

I seek my purpose, I walk with purpose, I collide with Destiny. Amen
 
Coming soon, Walking With Purpose, Colliding With Destiny
Bertice Berry, PhD.

Thursday, August 27, 2015

New Self/Old Self


My New Self is My Old Self

We all have our insecurities. For years, I dealt with the insecurity concerning my looks. I thought I was all of the things I had been told as a child; fat, ugly and too black. (Too black for what; I finally asked myself.)

Late one night; unable to sleep, I turned on my television to the PBS channel. I saw a beautiful woman on a program I had never seen. I thought to myself; “I’d love to look like that. She’s the perfect size and has beautiful skin and her smile is amazing.”

I’m tearing up as I write this, because as crazy as it may be, I looked more closely and could see that the beautiful woman was me. I had tapped a series for PBS that helped teach English as a second language. I’d never seen the series, so when I did, I could not even recognize the beautiful women on the other side of the screen.

That night, I cried and cried. I had been holding an image of myself that was not accurate. It was based on the lies I’d been told by folks who had been told the same lies about themselves.

That night, I grew up and away from the childhood insecurity.

·         What lie have you believed about yourself?

·         What are you holding inside of you that affects the way you feel and act?

The only way to address and insecurity is to go inside. Too often, we seek to fill our void with the love of another broken soul, the good feeling of drugs, food or alcohol. We even try to mask our doubts with busywork that centers on anything but the thing that we need to face.

We spend more time and money on the security of our house than we do for the insecurities of the self.

Today, look at yourself and then go inside.
                                                             
Look deeply at the old feelings of self-worth and face them with the truth; that you are beautiful, powerful and wonderful as you are and you always have been.
 
Be You, Be Well, Be Strong
Bertice Berry, PhD.

Monday, August 10, 2015

At The End of the Day


At The End of the Day

I marvel at time and how it seems to move differently for all of us. For some, there’s never enough, while for others the day just drags on.

Everyone gets the same twenty-four hours. If we had even one more hour some of us would use it to work ourselves to death.

How you see time is totally up to you, but how you use it effects everyone around you.

So here are some questions I’d like you to ask yourself as you go through the day:

Is this really the best use of my time?

Am I seeing this task to completion?

Am I tired from doing nothing or am I tired because I am using my energy to the fullest?

Who can use a few minutes of my time?

Who am I giving the most of my time to?

Do they return the favor of time?

Is time real? If not what is?

I know it’s been a while since you’ve heard from me. I’ve been taking the time to heal.

I’m back.

Be you, be well, be healed.

Bertice Berry, PhD.

Monday, June 29, 2015

Amazing Grace

 
Amazing Grace

By now, you’ve seen the footage or have heard about the President of The United States leading thousands in a beautiful tribute to Rev. Clementa Pickney with the song Amazing Grace.

If you haven’t, you should.

You should also watch the eulogy in its entirety and you should reflect on your own grace.

Most folk know very little about the origin of that song, and even less about the man who wrote it.

Reverend John Newton became a fierce abolitionist. He urged his fellow Englishmen to end the horrors of slavery. He knew those horror intimately, because Newton had been the captain on a slave ship. Captured and forced into the life of a seaman, Newton often found himself in the same condition of the slaves he’d transported.

Once, he was even sold over to a slave trader who gave Newton to his African wife. She treated Newton and her black slaves terribly. Later, Newton wrote that it had been the African slaves who had nursed him and kept him alive.

Newton was later rescued and converted to Christianity on his voyage back to England when the ship almost capsized. Newton cried out to God ready to die, but the ship amazingly found itself in a calm sea.

Newton stopped drinking and gambling, but continued in the slave trafficking business. With each passage, Newton came to see that until he set others free, he could not be. He decided to give God full control of his life and after a serious illness and then stroke, Newton completely gave up the business of trafficking Africans.

By the time John Newton wrote the words, “I once was blind, but now I see,” Newton had lost his physical sight but had gained a vision of the world to come.

A world that was free of slavery and the oppression of others because of race.

To hear a president sing that song brought so much full circle.

As President Obama told the audience at that Home going ceremony, “Grace is not earned.” Grace is God’s unmerited favor. How we respond to it determines the world we get to see.

I once was lost, but am grateful to be found.

Was blind, but am grateful to see.

What will you do with you grace?

Bertice Berry, PhD.

 

Monday, June 22, 2015

Be Forgiven


Some of my Sunday dinner family
                      Be Forgiven

 
 
Most people think that wellness starts with the mind, but I have come to know that it begins in your heart.

Last week, most of us were saddened and angered by the shootings at the church just up the road from me in Charleston, South Carolina. Then the survivors and family members spoke of forgiveness and I was corrected.                                                                       

I don’t know if I could have said, “I forgive you,” to that young man. I’m having a hard enough time giving forgiveness to the folks I know who say things that are racist.

I’ve grown tired of being angry, but I won't be indifferent and I am only now stepping up to the plate of forgiveness.

Many of my friends don’t fully understand the burden of racism in America and they surely cannot comprehend what it’s doing to them.

Until those beautiful words of forgiveness, I hadn’t looked at what I had been holding.

I’ve often said that forgiveness is not about letting someone else off of the hook, it’s about getting off the one they put you on.

Forgiving someone is about letting go of the pain and suffering that comes as a result of the injury.

For my own wellness, I will move my focus from the terrorist over to the beautiful folks who could forgive.

You can probably read through my lines to see that I’m not yet up to the task of forgiving that murderer. It’s probably because I see the act of terrorism in a much larger context.
We should be talking about this.
We should be sitting down at dinner tables with the folks you mean when you say, "Some of my best friends are," and you should be discussing how this and other acts of terrorism make you all feel.
We should all be holding our hearts in pain from the indifference we have to our nations indifference.
We should be feeling something.

If your heart is not aching, truly aching, well, I forgive you.

Be you, be well, be forgiven.

Bertice Berry, PhD