Thursday, May 31, 2012

Day 153 of Your Year to Wellness; On Being Human

To Be or Not
I’m in Mississauga, Canada and yesterday, I had an eye opening cab ride. I had just finished an amazing day with some amazing people. Every year, the people of Aramark host an event for the folks who are the leadership at long term care facilities and retirement communities.
These are the folks who care for the world’s greatest but least appreciated treasure; our elders. Our elders hold the key to perspective and without their past, we cannot see the future.
People who care for the wellbeing of elders have a special place in my heart because I grew up in a nursing home. Okay, not really, but my mother worked in one and so I got to go there quite a bit. This is hard and often thankless work but the folks at Aramark “put on the dog” for them, as my mother would have said about any event that was really high class.
I could go on and on about the day as I met folks who made my heart melt with joy, pride and love but I have an early pick-up for an early flight so I need to get right to it.
On my way back to the hotel, I rode with a cab driver I could barely understand. It wasn’t his accent; it was mine, as I was the foreigner. He asked me what event had been held and I told him about the folks who cared for the world’s most forgotten treasure; our elders.
He turned around, looked at me and smiled and then he said something that left me speechless for the remainder of the day.
This is why we are called human beings, because we are to care for one another.”
Then he turned back around and drove me to my destination and I thanked him for his wisdom. I have been pondering his words ever sense.
We are human beings, not doings, not thinkings, not nothingness. What enables us to BE is how we relate to and care for one another. Do we care about the folks we see daily or are they just extras in the B movie that is our life?

Go forth and BE
Be you, be real, be wonderfully caring
Bertice Berry, PhD.

Day 152 of Your Year to Wellness; When Guilt Becomes Shame

Letting go

The Need to Be Free
In the right amounts, guilt and shame can serve a healthy purpose, but as with anything else; too much guilt and shame is harmful and dangerous.
Guilt happens when a person feels responsibility or remorse for an offence or wrongdoing either real or imagined. (We’ll come back to the real or imagined in just a bit.) Shame is the painful feeling that arises from the consciousness for having done, participated in or watched something that is dishonorable or improper.
I can still remember my first real encounter with guilt and shame. I was about 12 years old and had checked a few books out of the library. (Yes, I’ve been a nerd for a long time now.) A girl who walked to school with the gang of kids from my neighborhood borrowed one of them to read. By anyone’s standards, this girl was a bully. For some reason though, she never bullied me. When it was time to return the book to the library, I was afraid to ask her for the book back. I had seen her fight and beat up bigger boys; I was not going to get on her bad side.
When the book was way past due, I got a letter from the library asking me to return it. A few weeks went by and I got another letter telling me that I had better get it back. Another week and I was looking at losing library privileges, being fined and in my mind I was going to jail.
My mother could barely feed her seven children; she didn’t have the money to replace books that I had checked out of the library. I sat up wondering and worrying what I would do. I cried and cried. Whenever I saw a police car, I knew they were coming for me. My guilt for not returning the book had turned to shame and I was a prisoner.
It is important to point out that your brain does not know the difference between what is real from what is imagined. The body responds to all of the signals our brain sends as if every alarm is real. Nowadays, I use this to my advantage by meditating a full nap in bed, even when I am sitting upright on a loud airplane.
But back to the library book---My shame started to eat me up and I was afraid to go outside. I went out for school, but then ran home to more threatening letters from the library. Now, to be fair to the nation’s wonderful library system and the brilliant folks who work there, I am certain that these letters were not threatening at all, but back then, my little mind had responded with the necessary guilt, but then the guilt became shame and took over my thinking.
I believe that in the right amount a little guilt and shame are helpful. In fact, we need a little more of it. We should feel shame when seniors are mistreated. We should feel guilt when we take what is not ours. We should be moved to do something when any child is bullied, but when we hold on to the guilt it will become shame and that shame will eat away at your esteem.
I finally did get that book back from that girl. Her entire bully family had tried to read it and she had to fight an even bigger sister to get it back. The book was worn and torn and so that summer, I got a job to pay for the damage.
I worked at the library.

·         Shame is like a vampire; it has to be invited in, but once it comes inside, it will take your life away.

·         Guilt serves a purpose for the guilty.

·         Even if we watch a wrong doing we will feel guilt; if you don’t feel guilty then you have been watching too many.

Love yourself enough to forgive and let go of your shameful past.
Be you, be well, BE FREE
Bertice Berry, PhD.

Wednesday, May 30, 2012

Day 151 of Your Year to Wellness; The Need to Read

Firing The Brain
Nothing fires the brain like reading. Reading requires the use of several parts of the brain, so when you read more than a tweet or text message, you are strengthening the highways between these parts enabling them to communicate more readily.
Yesterday, I read some staggering statistics about Americans and reading. Only 33% of people who have graduated from high school read a book after high school and only 42% of the folks who graduate from college ever read another book.
 When I was in school, then college, then graduate school, there was one thing that kept driving me to completion and that was the fact that when I was done with school, I would be able to read all of the time and I could read whatever I wanted.
But last year 80% of families in the U.S did not buy or read a book. And of those books that were purchased, only 43% were read to completion.
I don’t know about you, but this worries me. It’s no wonder that we rank last in innovation against other countries. Innovation requires that we think and process creatively; the ability to do so is made possible by reading.
We have become more concerned with having a bikini body by summer than we are with reading a  book by then. Intelligence is incredibly attractive.
I love to listen to books while I exercise, but I truly enjoy sitting down and reading them even more. Reading requires that we still our mind and focus and focus and focus.
I know people who own more shoes than they do books. There is something terribly wrong here. If we want to be better and think more clearly, we have to read entire books to their completion.
One of the best compliments I’ve ever gotten came from someone who had not read a book after high school. The woman told me that her friend gave her one of my novels and insisted that she read it. The woman did and then she read everything else I wrote and then she kept right on reading. She wrote to me and said “Thank you for helping me wake up to myself.”
We must read more, not to compete with the world, but to compete with our own self; to develop it and evolve into the person we need to be.
I often tell people that reading is like peeing; you have to do both to live. Sometimes at night, it’s hard to get up to go, but when you do, it is the best thing in the whole wide world. Reading is like that; it feels impossible at first, but the more you do it, the more you will want to.
Get a book about something you already enjoy and read it, then read some more.

Be you, be well, be a reader
Bertice Berry, PhD.

Tuesday, May 29, 2012

Day 150 of Your year to Wellness; So What You Ate Too Much

Not me nor my daughter,
but it sure made me smile

What About The Children?
I’ve told you that I will not use this space to preach at you and today I’m working hard to remain true to that statement, but I’m about to step up on a soap box.
Yesterday, many of you hung out with friends, barbequed, or laid back and watched the entire series of No Kitchen Required. (Okay, maybe that was just me.)
You ate and snacked throughout the long weekend telling yourself that you deserved it and now you feel bloated, guilty and have decided to put yourself down.
Well, now it’s time for my soapbox; stop it with the poor pitiful me routine. I actually did well at the gatherings and snack-ins. I did not stray from eating right or from giving my body what it needed, but because I spent a day doing almost nothing (I did my laundry and worked on my book,) I felt like I was somehow cheating on life.
 The moment I started to berate myself for my “laziness” an amazing thing happened and I hope you get this connection; the moment I decided to feel like I should be doing more, my daughter came in to my room and asked me to braid her hair. Like me, she has worn dreadlocks for most of her life and has not had a need for a comb. So when I saw the little comb in her hand and heard her request, I knew that it was an opportunity for me to get up and live.
Those of us who are hard on ourselves have a tendency to be too hard. We get upset about what we have not done and should have done better. I am here to tell you that you have the opportunity to pass on your hopes, wishes and dreams to a young person who needs even more attention than you do.
Stop worrying and whining about how you look, feel, or what you don’t have and recognize that whatever condition you are in, there are young folks who are just starting out on the path that we have already been on. They need direction and guidance.
As I braided my daughter’s hair, I recalled that my mother had little time to do the same for me and my sisters. I don’t even know if she could braid. She gave me what she had and was able to give and I have the opportunity to add to what she knew for the generation that follows.
My daughter and I laughed about life and the time I gave her and her siblings matching dashikis. (What was I thinking?) We talked about her love of The Rocky Horror Picture Show and I told her about the first time I was taken to see it with college friends who dressed the parts. She told me that she discovered how cool I was when she found and re-watched movies she didn’t get when she was younger.
 My daughter's hair is really short, so I told her the braids will come out. She smile and said “That’s good, because we can do this again.”
I know that this is a wellness blog and many of you joined in because you want to lose weight; well I want you to put aside all of the weight and worry that has slowed you down.
Today, find a young person who has been asking for advice and give them some. Share what you know and are learning. Instead of talking about how full and miserable you feel, talk about how full your life is.
I love you and am so grateful that you are willing to pay attention to this “little” sermon.
Be you, be well, be a teacher.
Bertice Berry, PhD.

Monday, May 28, 2012

Day 149 of Your Year to Wellness; Where Are You?


Some folks have gone missing in action. Their body is still here, but the main part; their heart and soul is nowhere to be found.
This soul snatching thing doesn’t happen all at once; it’s gradual. Someone will wince when you play music that you love; have always loved and so you decide to turn the music off, replacing it with something more appealing to the other person's liking.
You may comment on a movie or book that you loved and someone will tell you why it wasn’t good and so you decide that you don’t like it either.
The soul snatching may have happened after one too many drinks, or over the counter sleep aides, it may be the result of giving yourself wholeheartedly to your children, spouse/partner, job, club or church. Whatever the source, you have learned to keep moving, even though you are really not there. There are times when you begin to wonder where you went and why you ever left; but the first thing you must do is recognize that you are missing and work to get you back.
I know how strange this sounds to the average reader; but to one who is seeking to transform into their best self; it sounds like a map to a long lost treasure. (Keep reading.)
Getting yourself back is easy; the hard part is remaining true.
·         Think back to when you felt invincible and certain that you loved life, learning and meeting new folks. See that time as if it were now. Recall what you appreciated about yourself and return to it.

·         Find a book or piece of music from that time and sit down and enjoy it.

·         Remember you. Recall how you believed that anything was possible and you set out to make it happen. Your dreams were not a burden they were your life blood.

·         Dream again and then believe in those dreams.

·         Smile and repeat.

You already have what you always needed. Find you again.

Be well, be free, be you
Bertice Berry, PhD.

Sunday, May 27, 2012

Day 148 of Your Year to Wellness; The Origins of the Memorial

"Southern ladies" also decorated the graves
of Confederate Soldiers.
You could even buy Decorations Day cards

A Time to Remember
In The U.S. this weekend, we are celebrating Memorial Day. During this three day weekend, we celebrate and remember the lives of the men and women who died during their service in the armed forces; or do we?
This weekend has become a time to eat, drink and be merry, for on Tuesday, we return back to work.
But did you know that Memorial Day originated in the Charleston, South Carolina among freed African Americans?
 Decoration Day, as it was called, was the day when “Freedmen” and other black families celebrated the lives of Union soldiers. White missionaries and school teachers worked alongside of free blacks cleaning cemeteries and roads for the 10,000 people who attended the first Decoration Day in 1865. Years later, the north joined in the celebration of what was called “First Decoration Day.”
Nowadays, we think of the soldiers as an afterthought to our barbeques and boat races. Rarely do we think of those who fought for freedom within the country. We spend even less time thinking about just how far we’ve come.
We are so embarrassed about the past that we just don’t deal with it at all.
Our ancestors, black and white participated in a struggle for the freedom of all. We must remember and celebrate their lives.
Somehow, the origins of this holiday has been lost to barbeques, the beginning of summer and the long weekend we look forward to.
Take a moment to recall, recollect and remember the ancestors who enabled us to do all of this. I know tomorrow is Memorial Day, but I thought I’d give you a heads up.

Remember, we are connected to our ancestors, to their struggle and to one another.

Be you, be well, be decorated
Bertice Berry, PhD.

Saturday, May 26, 2012

Day 147 of Your Year to Wellness; Working While Others Play

Put your time in;
pay day is coming afterwhile

No Time Off
(And a special request)
Someone usually has to tell me when there is a holiday. That’s because I work when there is work and sometimes that work is in another country on an American holiday.
This morning I thought about all of those folks who work while everyone else is on a break. There are lots of folks who do, which is why we can still go to the grocery store, gas station, hotel, spa, get on a plane or go to a  hospital.
I learned to work while others were off when I was a kid and then it was reinforced in college. I studied while others slept and did weekend work to get me through. Even now I get up while my house is silent and still, writing the blog and working on a novel.
We all need a break, but we also need to acknowledge the work that gets done while we sleep.
We should pay attention to the fact that while we water ski and barbeque; someone is doing a double shift just to stay afloat.
If you are that person who is working while others play; be proud, grateful and certain that work is a necessary part of life. We all have to pay our dues, some folks owe more than others; but when you work overtime and on holidays, you pay those dues back sooner.
My mother worked constantly. She had 7 kids to feed and there never seemed to be enough. She used to tell us to “Work like them ants.” My mother was referring to the ants in the book of Proverbs who worked during summer, storing up for the winter.
Yesterday, I got a request to work on my birthday; something I said I was tired of doing. It’s a benefit for kids with hearing loss. Dr. Shohet and his associates put it on every year to raise money for devices and implants for kids whose parents can’t afford them. They were trying to find a date that worked for my calendar and theirs, so November 12 ( my birthday) was the date. My sister/manager Jeanine let me know about the request for the date and I told her yes.
Please keep that date in mind. I’ll be 52 and I want 52 cents or 52 dollars from anyone who loves me. We are going to use it to help others hear.
I know this is an early notice; I’m giving you time to save up.
Which takes me to my point; when you are asked to work when others are playing; you get an early notice and it allows you to save up.
When you eat that hot dog or sleep that extra hour, say a word of thanks to those who work while you are off.
To those of you who are working; Thank you.
Be you, be well; work like them ants.
Bertie Berry, PhD.

Friday, May 25, 2012

Day 146 of YOur Year to Wellness; Miserable People

Stay in the Light

Miserable People and Why They Affect Us

We all know or work with someone who is; how can I put this delicately; down-right miserable. No matter what you do for, to or with them; they will still be miserable.
I’m not talking about a person who is down on their luck, or coming out of a difficult time; I’m talking about those folks who have made miserable their personality type. Nothing anyone says or does can make them less miserable. When things are going well, miserable people are no less miserable; in fact, when things are right, they seem to find even more to be upset with.
Miserable people are not the majority; they are rather rare, but their impact affects everyone they encounter. So much so that when the miserable person does not show up for work, everything flows so much better.
However, the miserable person rarely takes time off; which is why they have been on the job so long. They will work when no one else will, but they wake up and move about with that cloud over their head determined to make everyone else’s life miserable as well.
The real question is not why miserable people are miserable, because we can only change our own self. The real question is how and why we allow their mastery of misery to affect our work and purpose.
Here’s what I have observed:

n  Miserable people don’t really want to be miserable; they prefer to be around people who are joyous. Like everyone else, they too are attracted to the light. But they can’t stand that person who seems to rise above whatever is going on. They are envious of anyone who can be happy even when things are tough; so they will use any challenging situation to make you see and think the way they do.

n  Happy people often feel that it is their mission to enlighten the miserable person. While this is noble, it is also dangerous. I believe that it is your goal to help those who seek joy as well. The miserable person will be impacted by the joy of the whole but will see the brightest light as a threat and therefore seek to “take them out.”

n  When I encounter someone who is determined to be down on life I share my light but I am very cautious about being pulled into their attacks so I leave them to their own misery.

This may sound a little cruel, but if you know someone who is bent on being miserable when nothing is happening to them, life is beautiful even mean Joe Green is sharing the Coke (Okay, I know I just dated myself,) then you already know that the goal of the miserable person is to make everyone else miserable as well.
Raise your energy and your light and dance with those who can hear the music.
A negative vibration cannot dwell with one that is joyous; it will change or it will leave.

Be you, be well, be LIGHT
Bertice Berry, PhD.

Thursday, May 24, 2012

Day 145 of Your Year to Wellness; Seeing Miracles

  Letting go; Being Set Free

Yesterday, I witnessed a real miracle. It wasn’t the Song of Bernadette kind but it was right up there. I’m still feeling the effects of it as I write. I’m on my last day At NTI for the American Association of Critical Care Nurses.

Critical Care nurses are the closest thing we have to angels walking among us. Critical care nurses are there when a person dies and present when a critical patient miraculously pulls through. They know more than they reveal and have seen more than even they can believe.

Yesterday, in a session I led on Becoming the Highest Version of Yourself, we learned, laughed and then shared painful stories. I believe that when a painful story is told out loud, it sets someone free; usually the listener but always the teller.

We all paired up and shared or listened to another to get the lesson we needed. Afterwards, I asked if anyone wanted to share with the entire group. (Don’t try this on your own boys and girls.)

A beautiful woman shared a story that she had never told. The woman was in charge of her department and capable of being professional and caring of others; but for years, she hadn’t been able to forgive herself.

She had held on to her pain for more than 20 years. Boldly and lovingly, she shared with the hundreds of nurses gathered there. When she shared, the room was silent and in tears. When I asked for the lessons that could be learned people immediately began to shout out what they themselves needed to be reminded of.

To take care of themselves; to love, to put their families before work, to let go of guilt, to hold no blame, to see our own angels, to cry, to hug, to let go and to heal.

Afterwards, no less than 10 people shared with me that her story was their story too.

This is the miracle; that we are never alone in our pain; and that when we share and release our pain, we enable others to be free as well.

As I was walking back to my room, a man ran up to tell me that he was at the conference with his wife and that she told him he needed to come to the session. He said he had to leave a little early because he was about to break out in one of those ugly cries, but he wanted me to know that he had been set free.

Miracles happen every day. Sometimes they are physical, but sometimes they happen at the soul level. When you release and get well, you can become the catalyst to help set others free.
Be you, be well, Be the miracle.
Bertice Berry, PhD.

Wednesday, May 23, 2012

Day 144 of Your Year to Wellness; When Life Happens

Life Only Happens When You are Living

Into each life a little rain must fall but then it stops raining. I am amused by the question of why bad things happen to good people; things happen to all people but when you are good and well and on your way to a balanced life, the recovery is so much easier.

Life happens, but it only happens when you are truly living. A woman once said to me that it seemed that something was always happening to me. She made this comment after hearing that one of my children had died. Knowing how fast and exact karma is, I quickly moved away from her.

If I had not said yes to raising my daughter, I could have avoided the death of a child. But I would have also missed out on the love and incredible light that she shared.

We often look at the challenges in life as if they are our life. It’s all in the perspective. Things happen and they happen to everyone; the question is how you will respond.

Today’s post is a reminder to you to

·         Celebrate your life

·         Learn from all lessons

·         Share what you have learned (experience is the best teacher, so when at all possible, learn from someone else’s difficult experience.)

·         Look at the patterns in your life and try to avoid those that keep resulting in pain

·         Do not rejoice in someone else’s calamity; even if you don’t like them

·         Be still and remember that nothing lasts always

Be you, be well, be alive
Bertice Berry, PhD

Tuesday, May 22, 2012

Day 143 of Your Year to Wellness;The Constant Key

               On Consistency

The key to any kind of growth or change is consistency, but it’s much easier to talk about it than it is to be about it.
I must admit that when I set out to write this daily blog, I really didn’t have a true concept of what the word daily meant. I gave little thought to the fact that sometimes, I leave my house at 4:00 am for an early flight, or that when I’m at the NTI conference I have a 7:00am call time and some days don’t get back to my room until late at night.
I didn’t think about coastal flights that connect, nor did I realize just how dull my mind is at night making it difficult to do anything that has to do with writing.
Here’s what I did know, that I was taught to finish what I started, to let my yeah be yeah and my nay, a nay. I was told that your word was your bond and that if you ever broke it; that it should not be to your own self.
I love writing these posts. Some days are harder than others, but I know that if I hadn’t done this, I would not have connected to all of the amazing folks who are reading along daily. I would not have something to think about besides the constant ringing in my ear, and I would not be transforming into this better version of me.
Here’s the thing, for anything to be effective, you must be consistent. You must commit your heart and head to doing the same thing daily. You must get up, write, move, eat, drink water, dance, smile, tell someone you love them, read, learn something new, be still, care, reach out to connect and you must be.
We must do the same things over and over and over again until those things feel like a normal part of your daily life and then you have to take it up a notch.
Consistency is the key to anything. Diligence and hard work will always win.

So stick to it, and then stick to it some more.

Be you, be well, be consistent.
Bertice Berry, PhD.

Monday, May 21, 2012

Day 142 of Your Year to Wellness; A True Blessing

Illuminate the path
Being the Blessing
I know that I am truly blessed; that is I have an understanding that God is enough and with this I am happy.
Seriously, look it up. We go around all day telling others to have a blessed day, or saying “God bless,” but do we really have a true understanding of these powerful words?
I know that if I am to be blessed, then I must be a blessing to someone else. A real blessing is never one sided or all about me; it must be the right thing at the right time for all parties involved.
This week, I am with The National Training Institute for The American Association of Critical Care Nurses. There will be about 7,000 nurses from all over the U.S in attendance. They are blessed and they are a true blessing.
These are the folks who work 12 hour shifts with people who are critically and or terminally ill. If you know a critical care nurse, you already know that they have big hearts, but they also have amazing intelligence. They are wise and caring all in one being with a smile that can get you through your suffering either for this life or to the next.
My first encounter with critical care nurses was with the care of my mother at Memorial Hospital and Candler in Savannah, GA. The care and love they showed her in her last few years was amazing and still brings me to tears.
Last year, my daughter was in intensive care and was loved to life. She received excellent care and I received the love, hugs and tears of nurses who also wanted to make sure that I was okay.
I am humbled and moved by these folks. They love to laugh and they will share your tears. Their work is true Purpose work. They inspire me to be better.
Today, I’d like you to think of them and their Purpose as you reflect on your own.
·         Do you embody the standards of your profession?

·         Are you constantly learning and keeping up with the latest technology, research findings and certifications?

·         Do you truly care about your clients, customers and associates, or are they a number, a dollar sign, the bottom line?

·         When your customers succeed do you rejoice? When they don’t do you care?

·         Do you go home from work wondering if you could have done more?

I am blessed to know these amazing people. Now I must be a blessing to someone else.
Be you, be well, Be the blessing.
Bertice Berry, PhD.

Sunday, May 20, 2012

Day 141 of Your Year to Wellness; I might be dreaming but...

                                        What If?

What if we all worked on ourselves and were not bothered by what others thought about us?

What if we encouraged every child we encountered so that when they heard something negative; they were armed with all of our love?

What if we really did love our neighbor as our self; but came to realize that we needed to love our own self better?

What if we only spoke life, joy and laughter; never seeking to bring anyone down?

What if we spoke to everyone we encountered and shared our love and light willingly?

What if we cared more about our inside than we did our outside?

What if we sought to change ourselves and never desired to control another?

What if we said “I love you” more than we said “I just don’t like you?”

What if you really did control the climate?

What if thoughts were things and you were in charge of all of them?

What if you really could create your own reality?

What would you create?

What if you loved more deeply and started with you?

Be you, be well, dream bigger.

Bertice Berry, PhD.

Saturday, May 19, 2012

Day 140 of Your Year to Wellness; Mission Delayed?

Mission Delayed "With Purpose"
Life always offers us unexpected wonders and sometimes it gives us a reason to be disappointed.
Even when things don’t seem to go our way, there is an opportunity for growth.
That’s what happened at 4:55 this morning.
I’m in Orlando for the big NTI conference with the American Association of Critical Care nurses. When I arrived, I heard that the private company Space X would be launching its Dragon 9 space capsule. So at 2:00 this morning, my manager/sister Jeanine and I drove to Cape Canaveral to watch the launch. (Read more about the shuttle and its delay)
We were excited and could barely sleep. I got up early so I had time to exercise and meditate before leaving. I’ve always wanted to see a rocket launched into space and this unexpected news would be my chance. We did a dry run the day before and were grateful we had. Initially, we got lost trying to find Jetty Park where the launch could be easily seen.
Getting there this morning in the dark was easy breezy, since we had prepared the day before. We stopped at the park’s office and observation deck and discovered something else we hadn’t known; a reception was being held for the loved ones of the deceased whose remains would be launched and released into outer space. Among them would be actor, James Doohan who played “Scotty” on the original Star Trek, and Mercury astronaut, Gordon Cooper along with 306 more. (Read More)
We waited excitedly with many others who made their way to the far end of a very long pier. I talked to a few people who had come out to fish and had no idea that a shuttle would be launching. They wondered why there were news crews and so many people at what would otherwise be a very dark and quiet place to fish. We watched a man pull a hammer head shark from the waters and then we watched as he dropped the prehistoric looking fish back.
Some folks were there for the novelty and were disappointed to learn that the launch had been aborted. “Well, this was a waste.” We heard more than one person say.
But Jeanine and I were grateful to have been there, and grateful to learn so many new things. We were happy to chat with folks with whom we had this historic morning in common and grateful to have been close enough to Cape Canaveral to get there. When the launch was delayed (they will attempt again in 3 days,) we were grateful that caution ruled the day and all was well with the ground crew and rocket.
Space X Officials said that this was not a failure, that the mission was delayed with purpose.
Life will always give you unexpected pleasures and sometimes, plans will go awry but you will always have an opportunity to learn, to grow and to be launched into a better you.

Be well, be you, be wise.
Bertice Berry, PhD.

Friday, May 18, 2012

Day 139 of your Year to Wellness; Grow Up

You can grow and change
or remain as you are; you choose

The Power to Hurt, the Power to Heal

Most people walk around with no idea of how powerful they really are and because they don’t, they do a great deal of damage.
Those of you who have been reading this blog for some time know that I believe that the only person we can change is our own self, but if you are just joining us you should know that when you do change you can inspire many.
The lack of growth causes stagnation and feelings of discontent. We are designed for growth. Even when the body stops growing, the brain, mind and spirit can continue to evolve. The failure to grow however, will result in the whole little child inside you thing. Think of that Tom Hanks movie Big, where the little boy was in a grown man’s body. Things worked out well for him because it was Tom Hanks and Hollywood, but in real life it’s just not pretty.
When a BIG (Body is grown but nothing else---and yes, I just made that up) makes decisions for a grown person, the results are rather immature, but when that BIG is working and interacting with other adults is causes all kinds of problems.
Which takes me to today’s point; you have the power to heal a situation but you also have the power to hurt.
Lately, I’ve been seeing folks using their gifts for all the wrong reasons. The BIG will seek to have their own way, be the center of things and break the toys of others if they can’t have them. The BIG will cry after hitting someone else and then run and tell mom, their boss or HR. The BIG will tell everyone on the playground that they should not play with someone just because they don’t like that person. And the BIG will try to bully their way into the lives and possessions of others.
In contrast, an evolved adult will seek to build up the relations with their peers and will seek to understand. When an evolved person is wronged, they will try to get an understanding and they will forgive. An evolved person works to heal a hurt and desires peace in their workplace and family. They strive to accomplish the mission and purpose of their job because it is their personal mission and purpose as well. They bring healing and harmony to a difficult situation because they know that this is desirable.

We all have the power to heal; but the healing has to start with you.

Be you, be well, be growth.
Bertice Berry, PhD.