|Be joyous and expectant of nothing|
but infinite good
Throwing Your Own Pity Party
If I ever found the need to feel sorry for myself, my mother had a way of shutting me right down; “Don’t try to invite me to your pity party.” She would say.
Now for those of you who don’t know what a pity party is, let me explain; a pity party is when a person feels pitiful so they share their mood with anyone who will listen.
“I’m tired and I know you should be too, as hard as you work for those unappreciative kids.”
Notice how the speaker starts by sharing their own grief and then they invite you in by telling you that you have even bigger problems.
Research shows that my mother was right; misery not only likes company, it likes miserable company. In other words, if I’m feeling down, I want someone to know it, but I want them to feel down too.
This collective misery doesn’t help the sad, depressed and downtrodden; it only makes the feeling worse. Like adding alcohol to bad feelings; a pity party adds insult to injury.
We are supposed to seek solace from friends when things are tough, but when you attempt to make your friends feel bad for your bad feelings, you are not seeking solace; you are seeking attention and you are throwing a pity party.
Yes, gas is high, yes kids don’t listen and yes you are tired, but there is another way to see it. Gas is high, and you are still rolling. Kids don’t listen and neither did you. You are tired so you must have had something to do and some place to go.
Suddenly, the pity party becomes a celebration of life and those around you get to celebrate to.
· Today, listen for the invitation to a pity party?
· Are you sending them out?
· Do you get enough attention?
· Be joyful and appreciative and throw a different kind of party.
There is plenty to feel bad about but lots more to celebrate; you pick.
Be you, be well, be JOY
Bertice Berry, PhD.