Passing the Torch
I have often said that our young people know much more than we do, but they don’t have as much wisdom. The gap between knowledge and wisdom is your ability to teach what you know to someone else.
Yesterday, I had the opportunity to fill the gap. My daughter decided that she was going to prepare the entire Thanksgiving dinner. At first, I was elated; the thought of doing nothing gave me too much joy. But then I noticed something important about myself; as we got closer and closer to the day of cooking, I was having a difficult time of letting go of the reins.
“I got this mom,” she kept telling me. “I know,” I said, “I just want to make sure that you are okay.”
I had to search myself and find my truth. I discovered that I was having a hard time letting go. Call it a need to control, a failure to allow my kid to grow up or just a fear of the house burning down; the why did not matter it was the “what,” as in what are you doing Bertice, that puzzled me.
I offered to be my daughter’s assistant and she was not having it. Then I said I’d wash the dishes and she gave in a bit.
We had started early in the morning. I woke up and didn’t smell a turkey and so I went to her room to tell her that Berry women cook early. My daughter does not like waking up early, but she disliked the idea of not keeping the tradition even more, so she got up and got started.
She had read everything she could and knew all of the technical terms necessary, but when it came to actually pulling things out of a turkey, like gizzards and neck bones, she wanted my help.
I assisted by talking her through it and realized that I was beginning to let go. I washed dishes and let her do her thing and then I shared the magic, “If you take all that you know and combine it with all of the tricks and tips that have been passed on to me, you will be an amazing chef. In fact, you will go beyond everyone who has gone before you.”
For a moment, she said nothing, and then she stopped saying, “I know” every two minutes and began to ask questions.
Her change came about when I let go of the reins and allowed her to run freely. In doing so, my family sat down to the best Thanksgiving meal we’ve ever had.
What are you holding on to, but need to release?
Are you trying to help, or control?
What can you let go of today?
Who can you share your wisdom with?
Who can you learn from?
Be you, be well, be wisdom
Bertice Berry, PhD.