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| My actor friend and sister Daria shines so bright that everyone around her looks better |
Ask any
actor or performer about how important lighting is and they will tell you that
it’s crucial. Bad lighting can make a good actor look—well, bad.
In everyday life,
lighting is important as well, but real life lighting does not come from outside of the actor; it comes from within.
I recently
heard from a reader who wanted to know how to make sure her intentions were
always perceived correctly and how to correct those perceptions once they were
misinterpreted. These are rather wonderful questions and I hope that my
response is as well.
The underlying assumption of these
lessons has and will be based on the idea that the only person we can change is
our own self. When we change, evolve and grow, we illuminate a pathway for
others to follow.
With that in
mind let me go back to the notion of lighting; our inner light becomes the
light we need; for ourselves and the world. As you grow and develop your own
thoughts and actions you shine. I believe that our shine helps us to see how to
avoid and correct our own mistakes. It also helps us to see things more clearly.
You cannot control
the perceptions of others. If I come from a place of hurt and shame and I
believe that others are always trying to hurt me and you step in to help, I
will most likely perceive your attempt as another hurtful situation.
If I don’t
grow and learn from my painful experiences, I will repeat them over and over
again. I will come to believe that things are always painful and people are
always out to get me.
There is not
much someone can do to change that thought in me; I must change it myself.
Misinterpretations
happen when I make assumptions based on my own past negative experiences.
But here’s the good news, we can do
something for the situation when we shine our light. When we raise our
vibration through personal growth and self-improvement, we learn to remove our
ego and the need to be right, and will seek ways to help others rather than
rejoice in their pain.
When I shine
my light on a situation, my heart opens up and I am able to say “Forgive me, I
love you, I’m sorry.” Not because I have wronged someone, but because I want
that person to be able to let go of their pain and heal.
When we open
our hearts and get out of our head, we can see that the misinterpretation has
little to do with our own actions and more to do with the
interpretation thereof---hence the name misinterpretation.
When we
shine our light on the hurt of someone else, they are able to open up and be
healed.
And again I
say, the work has to start with you.
I hope I have
made sense and if I have not shine your light a little brighter for me---come
to think of it, do it anyway.
Be you, be well, and shine
Bertice Berry, PhD.
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