I like the buzz of the city but... |
I recently
had a conversation with a friend who wondered about the best way to choose a
mate. It just happened that I was working on an upcoming book with a friend on
value based relationships.
Marlon
Smith, the author, lecturer and engineer is writing about how in life, our
values rather than our likes and dislikes should lead us. (Read More)
“What we
value, we treasure and what we treasure we care for,” he points out. The more I
think about his point the more I see the way my own life and relationships have
gone. At the end of the day, it all comes down to values, but I have also observed that both young and old don’t always know what
they value.
We have been
told what we should want from the moment we first stopped and stared at a TV.
Now, we learn from “friends” on the internet that we need to want more and
more; the only difference being that there is a larger more global choice to
select from.
I once met a
couple who were young and had been married for over 20 years. They met at a
train station while the two were both still in college. They told me that on
the night before their wedding, they stayed up all night talking about what
they truly loved and valued. They recognized that they wanted to travel more
than most and decided to design their lives that way. The husband was studying
business and the wife was premed. They worked hard over the years taking more
and more time off annually. What began as only a few weeks of travel, turned
into only a few months of work until eventually, they could retire.
They
had no children, owned a small apartment and had the same car for most of that
time. They spent most of their money on travel and books; staying in places
that ranged from the least expensive to the most luxurious.
I marveled
at their commitment to do what they desired. They shared that they also loved to
learn, so from time to time they would enroll in different courses, learning
how to express and live their lives more fully.
If we could
go back in time designing our lives based on our values, I’m sure that for most
of us, lots of things would be different.
So imagine
that you have gone back in time and now you are designing for the next twenty
years of your life. What would you like it to be? What do you value most and
want to make sure is a part of your life for the future.
·
If
you value health and well-being, start living like it.
·
If
you value education and learning, start reading—and by the by, get a library
card.
·
If
you value your children and their future pour into them the lessons you think
they will need and make sure you pour the love that goes with it.
Where our
values are concerned, we should do more than lip service.
Start living what you
believe.
Be you, be well, be
valuable.
Bertice Berry, PhD.
...I truly value the peace of the country |
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