Are You THAT Friend?
Personal growth is often ignored because it requires that we take a long, hard look at ourselves. (And if your mind went to the gutter, you can start there.)
We must constantly ask ourselves; “Is it me?” Ask yourself if you are the one who is argumentative and jealous? Are you the weight that’s holding the wagon down?
Looking at yourself is not easy to do. It’s so much easier to see the faults of others; easier still to scapegoat our issues onto someone else.
We all know and have those friends who only call when they need or want something. I have a friend whom I’ve known since childhood and when I see her name on my phone’s caller ID (those inventors took suspicion and jealousy and put it right into our hands) and at first I am excited to hear from an old friend and then I remember that she must want something.
A few days ago, that friend called and I was really tired so I answered the phone and just said “What do you need?” She did not disappoint and started right in with her request.
I also have friends and family members who only call when they have bad news. I call one relative Schleprock after the character in the Flinstones who always declared “We’ll never make it.”
When he calls I know that someone has died or something terrible has happened. The truly odd things is this; I don’t even know the people he’s talking about, but Schleprock will insist that I do and will keep going with a list of descriptors until I convincingly say that I remember the poor soul he’s calling about.
We also have the complainers who only call to complain about ANYTHING. These are the folks I call the Whiners. They may be calling with a story about being cut off in traffic, someone staring at them the wrong way, or how someone has done them wrong again.
As I have grown and have had the opportunity to reboot my thinking, I see that I spend a lot less time on the telephone.
Bad news is really hard on the ringing in my head but it has an even worse effect on the beating of my heart.
I’ve been looking over my conversations with the Begging Bennys, the Schleprocks and the Whiners and I ask myself, “Is it me?”
A friend in need really is a friend in deed, because when you see the faults of others it serves as a reflection for your own soul.
If you don’t want to be THAT friend who only calls with a need, a sad story or negativity do this simple thing, call and inquire about the needs of someone else.
Be you, be well, be a better friend.
Bertice Berry, PhD.