Day 217; Where Self- Esteem Comes From

Be you, be bold, be beautiful

The Power of Self- Esteem; The Real Secret

Today’s lesson is huge and wonderful, so I’ll just get right to it. Self-esteem is for the self, but it comes from the people and things around you.

Whenever someone is acting out, wacky or just downright mean, my sister Christine will say that they are lacking in esteem. I laugh and then agree that 99.99% of the time she is spot on.

It’s rather ironic, but when people are loud, bullying, dressing provocatively, and wanting to be seen, they tend to be lacking in the self-esteem department. Likewise, those folks who hide behind a computer, are afraid to speak up for themselves and have a constant need to impress others are also low on self-esteem.

Self-esteem comes from the people, ideas and things around you. If the people around you are negative and constantly putting one another down, then the result will be a lack of self-esteem.

If playing the dozens, hating and hazing were an Olympic sport, then the U.S. would win gold at every event.

Our culture is steeped in one-upsmanship. We grade on curves, promote on comparisons and strive to be the envy of our neighbor.

Making fun of others and putting people down is an evening on-line activity which could seem like fun, but here’s the truth; every time you nip at someone else, you lose a bit of your own energy as well.

Your self-esteem also comes from the way you treat others. If you treat others with disdain, then that is what you will feel. If you treat others as if they are not good enough for you; then you will constantly feel lacking. In contrast, when you give goodness, you will feel it.

Here is the real Secret; karma, the idea of reaping and sowing, and the law of what goes around comes around is not about getting back what you give; it is about being able to see yourself in a better light, so you can give.

Your ability to love others is a reflection of your ability to love yourself.

Here are a few tips for building your self-esteem:

·         Learn new things. Take the time to learn in a systematic way. Take a course, go back to school, complete a degree. Structured learning is powerful tool for erasing old doubts, ideas and ways of thinking .

·         Surround yourself with ideas, people and entertainment that uplifts. If your soundtrack is bringing you down; change it.

·         Make a list of things you like about you, but not all at once. Do it daily; one to three items at a time. The more good you see in yourself, the more you will see in the world around you.

·         Tell others what you like/love about them. Seeing goodness in others will help you see it in yourself.

·         Tell someone you love them.

Be you, be bold, be beautiful

Bertice Berry, PhD.

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