|There are hills and valleys, some dry places|
but it's all beautiful
Finding Your Truth
I was a fat kid. I was teased and made fun of; and just writing this makes me wonder where the fun was. I guess it was fun for those who used me as a scapegoat for their issues; but we all know how those things turn out. When you scapegoat your problems onto someone else, they come back to you in another form; one more dangerous than before.
Anyway, I was telling you that I was fat. I didn’t feel good about myself because of the teasing and taunting that came with it. An older woman gave me some great advice; she didn’t realize it, because the truth be told, she was a part of the problem.
We all have these ideas about an idea body. When our own falls short; and by the way, it always will because it’s someone else’ idea and not your own body’s, we tend to put our insecurities onto others. Well, I had been crying about yet another teasing incident and expected the woman to tell her niece and daughter to stop teasing me. Instead she said, “If you lose weight no one will tease you.” I stopped crying and actually asked this grown-up what she had said. She repeated and then added; “You can’t change the way they think, but you can change the way you look.”
With that I had my answer; I could not change the way they thought, but I could change the way I thought and felt about my own self. I was all of 13 years old and I decided that I could change me. I began to learn what it meant to be healthy in spirit mind and body and I began to think about all the good that I had going for me.
This week, I had a very hectic travel schedule, in less than 24 hours, I had been on 5 flights, had been in 6 cities and had clocked over 10,000 miles.
Someone asked how I was doing and I said, “Tired and happy.”
Years ago, I would have allowed someone to tell me how I should feel about how much I was doing. I’d listen to them tell me that I should be tired; that my work was not appreciated, that I should stay home. But that’s not the way I feel it.
I love what I do and I love that I travel to get there. Yes, I am often bothered by other weary travelers who don’t know the space boundaries or how loudly they are talking on a cell phone. I am bothered by the weight of my laptop and the early hours I must keep. But none of that compares to the joy I have from living a life of purpose.
Here’s the thing, no one should be able to tell you your truth. You must know it for yourself. You must know that you are a beautiful being, living a life of purpose, one that you love and are proud of.
I got home to a family who loves me and I love them. My kids told me all about Oedipus and computer codes and I was rewarded with the deep cleaning skills of my quiet and tired sister Christine. I walked past a mirror and I saw my truth; and it smiled back at me.
Don’t let others tell you how to think, find your own truth and think it for yourself.
Be you, be well, be happy.
Bertice Berry, PhD.