Turn It Off |
Dealing with The
Difficults
We all know and occasionally
encounter those folks who are---how can I put this kindly; DIFFICULT.
You know the
folks who disagree with everything just because they don’t want to be
agreeable.
It seems
like I’ve been seeing more and more of them lately, but that could just be me. Back in the day, when I was writing a
dissertation on stratification; I could see stratification everywhere. When
a friend noticed that I needed a break and decided to take me to an art gallery,
he pointed to an abstract painting and asked me how I interpreted it. I told
him that it clearly represented the battle between the haves and the have-nots.
I pointed to a place in the corner of the painting where I could see the battle
forming.
My friend
laughed and pointed to the title plate that he’d been standing in front of. “Donuts,
it’s called donuts.” He said.
I’ve been
writing a novel about energy thieves, so maybe that’s why the Difficults seem
to be everywhere.
Yesterday,
as I was boarding a flight, a man ran up pushing me aside so he could board before
me. When he realized that I was also boarding with the first class group; a “benefit”
that comes from traveling so much, he turned and sternly asked if I wanted to
go first.
I smiled and
did a half curtsey and said “No, please after you.” He didn’t get my drift and
went right on; pushing his way past a man in a wheelchair. As I began to put my
things in the overhead compartment, the man pushed me aside to put his bags
there first. He was sitting across from me and at first, was storing his bags
in the compartment above him, but then decided that he preferred the bin I was
using. Again, I stepped aside and allowed him to put his bags in first.
As I did,
another man walked up and stared the man down; literally. The guy backed away
and the other man put my bags in the overhead for me. I thanked him profusely and
he said it was his pleasure.
Then out of
some place magical, the rude man looked over to me and gave me a nod and smile.
I accepted the
nonverbal whatever-it was and fell asleep on the short flight. As we were
leaving the plane, the rude man jumped up, pushed me aside again and gathered his
belongings.
Now, I’ve had this same exchange many
times before, but this one felt totally different and that’s because I handled
it differently.
I didn’t get
angry or try to establish my space. I didn’t push back or mentally call the guy
a name.
I simply
relinquished the energy he was trying to take. I had plenty. I had had an
amazing weekend and my heart and head were soaring. I was relaxed and even
after a migraine morning, I felt renewed.
Rude Difficults
are everywhere. Dealing with them is ---well, difficult. Here are a few tips.
·
Make
sure it’s not you.
·
Smile
and breathe.
·
Step
aside and recognize that what a Difficult tries to take can never be owned
(space and air.)
·
Yield
enough joy so they feel stunned by it.
·
Shine
your light.
I know, I went on a
little longer, but I have my power cord back and I feel---POWERFUL.
Be you, be well, Be
Easy Like Sunday Morning.
Bertice Berry, PhD.
Thank you Sis, and Bless you! I am getting to old to still be a "Thug". I pray for the patience to handle a situation like that as gracefully and graciously as you did. Thank you for the lesson.
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