Saturday, June 9, 2012

Day 161 of Your Year To Wellness; Fixing Things

I'm enough for me to work on

Broken Things; Broken People

I’ve always had a tendency to want to fix thing. I like to look at a broken object or problem to try to figure out how to make it work. I also love efficiency and parsimony; doing and saying the most in the least amount of space. So I strive to present complex and ancient ideas and secrets for the rest of us every day folk.
There are times though when my “need to fix” becomes a problem and that is when I move away from things and dabble in the art of fixing people.
Anyone who loves and wants the best for someone else has probably suffered this same affliction; the fixer problem.
When I confront someone who is hostile or who clings to an idea that is beneficial to no one, simply because they want to be right, I try to decipher the reason for their behavior. I’m a trained professional, so you might not want to try this.
I simply close my eyes and imagine their true need. It’s a lot deeper than that and I’ve had years of experience and training (translation; I’ve done it a lot.) While I may be right on the money, knowing what’s wrong and fixing it are two different things.
The last thing a broken person wants to hear is the reason why you think they are broken. Even when you are right; they don’t want to know. This person has been hiding behind their veil of stuff hoping that no one finds them out, so pulling the veil off, is not what they want or feel they need.
I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again; those of us who care a lot, carry a lot and sometimes we care more than the broken person cares about their own change. Caring is good, but carrying someone else’s load on your life journey is in no way wise.
Here’s what I've learned:

·         I can only “fix” myself and many times I fall short of that.

·         When I begin to heal, those around me can learn from my example.

·         People will create drama so they can have something to star in; don’t act in their made –up play.

·         Learn to prefer peace.

Life is full of problems you can fix; get on line and find one that is close to your heart.

Be wise, be well, work on you

Bertice Berry, PhD.

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