|Untitled by my daughter Fatima|
Why We Care About the Misjudgment of Others
I was reading The Wolf Gift, the new Anne Rice novel and I was immediately transported back to her Vampire Series. They were filled with references to the classics and philosophical arguments about the nature of good and evil. I don’t know about anybody else, but I am so glad she found monsters again. For a short while, she was writing about Jesus and I love the Lord and all, but I kept looking for one of the disciples to turn into a vampire.
Anyway, in the Wolf Gift, there is a quick exchange between two of the characters in which one wonders why people say hurtful things, making you feel poorly about yourself. But the other character comments that the bigger mystery is why we care about what they think or say. I was over joyed because, one, the old Anne Rice was back and two because someone had voiced what I had meant to say.
Most of the work we do to and on ourselves is because of how we think others will see us. The self is social; we are connected to one another in every way that matters. What you do will always have an impact on the people around us. We are not separated by six degrees, we are much closer and as we become more global, we are closer still.
This is why we care about the feelings and opinions of others; because in our hearts we still know that we are connected; I am because we are. But there is a point when the opinion of others, especially when it’s negative matters too much. When we reach this point of caring too much, we lose our sense of self and what we whould think and feel on our own.
Today, the lesson is simple. As you go through the day, know that you are not alone in this search.
When someone expresses a negative comment and you are about to respond or react ask yourself this; why do I care?
Is it because I am searching for truth?
Or is it because I am more concerned with being popular and liked than I am about being on the side of right?
Stay on the side of right and search your own heart for an answer.
Be you, be well, to thine own self be true.
Bertice Berry, PhD.