Social Self-Defense:
Simpatico
“You don’t
have to be the sharpest tool in the shed; even the dullest bulb can be nice.”
My mother
had a way with words, and she was filled with old school wisdom. Raised by her
grandparents who were actual abolitionists, my mother’s life was infused with
the philosophy of Quakers, the respect for nature and matrilineal ways of The Lenape,
and the civility of Old English society.
She was a
walking ball of confusion; a hard working alcoholic single mother turned senior
advocate/activist and confidence whisperer, my mother was the very
definition of transformation.
Although her life was full of ups and downs, one
thing remained constant, she knew how to conduct herself in public.
“Good manners will take you around
the globe and kindness will open hearts,” she said.
Our current
culture does not fully respect and embrace the kind of heart. We do no build
monuments or produce reality shows for those who are simply nice.
In fact,
the opposite is true. We speak ill of those we deem as “too nice.” Declaring
them unfit for leadership of any kind.
I still
believe that kindness is the best path.
While
studying Spanish, I learned the word simpatico. I love the sound of it and
try to use it as often as possible. There’s only one problem; the English
language doesn’t really have a true equivalent for simpatico.
“It means
nice, but so much more,” one Spanish teacher said. A person who is described as
simpatico, is one who is easy to get along with. They possess a likeability and
a keen sense of understanding.
The second perimeter of defense for the self is to be simpatico.
A polite
word or smile to a stranger can defuse a dangerous situation. More importantly though, simpatico commands
respect and alters the energy.
President
Obama possesses simpatico. I’ve been in his presence. He acknowledges
dignitaries and gives deference to janitors and cooks. I suspect that even
before he was the POTIS, he commanded attention.
Simpatico is defensive and offensive.
It puts folks on guard and at ease. It becomes the teacher and the student.
I have a cousin who is mentally
challenged. He is one of the kindest people I know. When he enters the room of
family gatherings, everyone stops their conversation to acknowledge him.
This is
not because he has special needs, but because he makes all of us feel special.
Simpatico is difficult to define, but
easily recognized.
Who would you describe as simpatico?
How can you be, well---nicer?
Today, put up your guard
by letting it down.
Be you, be well, be
simpatico.
Bertie Berry, PhD.
Bertice - you're still kick-ass brilliant! So glad to have found your blog!
ReplyDeleteAll love...Linda
SIMPATICO! Loving this word...been thinking about it every since you described what it means...thanks! It's a word I so needed to learn and start doing. I started yesterday...I spoke first :-). Shel Bee :-D
ReplyDeleteA great reminder to allow the Simpatico in us to shine. Thank you once again Dr Berry! 🙏
ReplyDelete