Monday, February 25, 2013

Week 8---Dealing with Insecurity

The Art of Living Week 8

Dealing With Your Insecurities

If you follow the lessons for this week, I can assure you that it won’t be easy, but I can also assure you that your outcomes will benefit you for the rest of your life.
We rarely deal with our insecurities head on, but a fulfilled life requires that you do just that.
Insecurities lead to comparison, competition and coveting. When we covet what someone else has, we become jealous. The jealousy leads to envy, strife and suffering.
A few days ago, I was standing in line at the airport waiting to board a flight. A very tall beautiful woman walked up and stood next to me. She looked like a life sized Barbie all grown up.
She was beautiful and wore expensive clothes and jewelry. She smiled at me and her smile was what folks call inviting.
So why in the world, would I begin to think negative thoughts about her? “Oh, here comes Ms. Beautiful with all the diamonds she’s conned men into giving her.”
“WHOA, where did that come from?” I asked myself.
“It came from you and those leftover insecurities.” I answered back.
I decided to face my insecurities and the beautiful woman head on. I asked her about her day and trip and learned that she was on her way to St. Thomas and then on to a cruise.
 “Great, the beautiful woman has a beautiful life.”  The old insecurities came creeping back in.
I told her that I had taught there many years ago and that she would have an amazing time. We boarded and she sat across from me. I had feared that she would be next to me and that I’d have to deal with my own negativity for the entire flight.
I breathed a sigh of relief and began to meditate. As I did I went looking inside myself for the source of my “stuff.”
I saw a young me being told that she was ugly and poor and black. I saw myself believing that I was fat and useless. I saw myself being told that I should focus on my studies because I was not beautiful enough to be “taken care of.”
I almost yelled “AH HA.” I could see that the old lies that I had accepted had now become my source of animosity towards someone else.
As I left the flight, the beautiful woman was again next to me. She was on her way to the same terminal and her gate would be next to mine. As we walked and talked, I noticed that she attracted attention everywhere she went. I pointed it out to her and learned that she had the same insecurities I had.
As a child, she had been told she was ugly and then she had married someone who abused her. It took her years to get free, and then more years to become strong. She had met a good man and they were getting married.
She smiled and said she enjoyed walking with me because I was so beautiful and secure. She said she noticed how everyone stared at me as we walked through the airport. I laughed and told her that they were staring at her.
As we parted ways, I hugged her and told her to keep believing that she deserved a good life.
With tears in her beautiful eyes she said, “That is the trick; we have to believe that we deserve a good life.”
I sat at my gate and cried tears of joy.
This week, when your negative thoughts come up, I’d like you to face them. Before you spiral into thinking that someone is doing something to you, I’d like you to think about what you are doing to yourself.

You are strong, healthy and happy.
You are a light and when you shine, others are able to do the same
You deserve a wonderful life

Be you, be well, be secure.
Bertice Berry, PhD.





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