Who Do You Need to Forgive?
To forgive means to forgo the need for revenge or restitution. It is not about letting someone off the hook, it’s about getting off of the hook they’ve put you on.
My mother taught me how to forgive. This was an amazing feat because she was the one I needed to forgive.
I grew up in a household of abuse and neglect and I carried the weight of that abuse into my adulthood. Then one day, about twenty years ago, I got a letter from my mother asking me to forgive her. I thought I already had, but then I looked deeply at the way I lived and moved. I saw that I was not living fully because I lived in fear.
I told her that I forgave her and I set out to forgive myself. Then I could see that I was the one I needed to forgive most. I had held on to pain that did not serve me and I had made it my own. I responded to abuse that had not yet happened and I danced around love but could not fall into love or life.
Today, make a list of those you need to forgive and then put yourself at the top. Let go of the need for revenge or restitution and make the decision to set yourself free.
Then do it again and again and again and again.
If you enslave anyone else, you have to enslave yourself to keeping them there.
Be you, be well, be free.
Bertice Berry, PhD.