Tuesday, March 13, 2012

Day 73 of your Year to Wellness; Is it Me?

Maybe it’s Me

Today, if you have a problem, disagreement or just a difference in perspective with a colleague, family member, lover or friend ask yourself, “Is it me?”

The question came to me yesterday as I unraveled the multiple knots in the huge 8 year old custom blinds that cover my bedroom window. The knots were impossible and I began to blame my kids who have had the tendency to do what all kids do which is to do everything too fast. As I unraveled those knots I imagined myself lining the kids up and telling them not to touch those blinds again and to keep in mind that if you do anything too fast, it will come back to haunt you just like losing weight.

But I digress; I was telling you about the knots in the cords of this huge blinds. The thing wouldn’t open or close properly and because I always handled the blinds with care, I figured that it had to be them dang kids.

Then it hit me, “Maybe it was me.” I spent more time in my bedroom than anyone else, including my daughter who loves to come in my room when I'm on the road to snuggle up in my bed and watch TV. My sister Christine cleans my room thoroughly each time I leave town and I come home to what I always call a clean-clean room and the fresh flowers she buys me each week.

Chris and I lived together in Chicago almost 20 years ago. This was right before the kids came to live with me. Each week, I bought $100.00 worth of wild flowers and Chris would cut, arrange then lovingly place them all around the two-story lake front town house. (Those were the days.) With the exception of a grand piano and a red chair, the place was all white and wonderful. When the children came, the flower money became pamper and formula money and the white furniture was all reupholstered in dark neutrals to hide their little spills and well, spills.

When she came to live with us here, Chris realized how much I had left behind and one day she began the weekly practice of buying a beautiful bouquet of roses for me.

When I come home, my room is always spotless. If it wasn’t for the fact that Fatima leaves the shows that she has recorded on the DVR, I wouldn’t know that she has been in my room at all. I was thinking about the wacky comedies she’d been watching in my room and trying to unravel the blinds and somehow, it all got tangled together.

Then I said that all-important thing, “Maybe it’s me.” When I did, I remembered that the last time I unraveled the cords I had gotten down to one big knot and decided to leave it for the next time. That knot had become the mess I was trying to unravel.

It was me after all.

·         When we put things off that need our attention they just become a problem for another day.

·         We often forget that the problem started with us. Then someone comes along and adds one touch to the mess we have left unattended and that person gets all of the blame.

·         Today ask yourself the question; “Is it me?” Did I say, do or indicate something that caused things to be as they are?
·         Remember that even when someone is driving you nuts, someone else is bringing flowers.
You don’t cause everything to happen but if the thing keeps happening over and over again, the patter is yours to unravel.
Be You, be Clear, be Free
Bertice Berry, PhD.

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