Monday, March 21, 2016

Judge Not Lest You Be Judged

I strive to be non-judgmental. I’ve only achieved it in my rather perfect marriage. My husband never judges me and I never judge him.

My marriage is the only relationship in my life that is totally free from judgement, and that’s because I’m not married.

Forming opinions of guilt or innocent, good or bad, right or wrong, based on my opinion and assessment, happens all day every day. It’s in our DNA.

We are constantly judging a situation to determine the danger that could be involved. The only problem is, we don’t really know.

We judge based on what we’ve been told, what we learned and didn’t learn, and we judge based on our very limited experiences.

Folks start a new job with judgements from the old. We enter into a new relationship with baggage from the last.

“I know he’s going to do the same thing that happened to me the last time.” Is said even before the first date.

How do we move from judgement to acceptance? 

How do stop hating the HR department whom we have never met? 

Why does your boss’s name in your email list bring that same feeling you had as a kid when you had a bad dream and the old folks said that a witch was riding your back. (Sorry, I had a flash back.)

The worst part is, as we judge others, we’ve already judged ourselves.

It has been said, and I am believing it, that being less judgmental can lead to inner-peace.

Start today with you and your own thoughts about you and your own thoughts.

When you see yourself as ugly, unworthy, dumb, not good enough, ask yourself why. How do you come to these conclusions? Where is your evidence? Can you reject the null hypothesis?

In other words, can you test the fact that you are beautiful, worthy, bright, and enough to be good. If you find any evidence for any of this, then you cannot accept, live in or believe the lies you have been telling you.

If you’ve been wrong about yourself, maybe, you can begin to reassess others as well.

Be you, be well, be the moon.

Bertice Berry, PhD.

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