Monday, February 15, 2016

Don’t Get Mad At Your Own Choices
Do I look bothered?

My children have had to endure many things; but they truly hate it when I say, “Don’t get mad at the choices you’ve made.”

From time to time, we all make choices that are uninformed, not well thought out and downright bad. But if you spend too much time being mad at yourself for the choices you’ve made, you will find it very hard to change the course of that choice.

I should know; I got married and divorced in the same year.

No need to bore you with the details, (I say this knowing that the story is anything but boring) just suffice it to say that after packing up my entire family and moving from one side of the United States to the other, all in the name of love, I didn’t just want to wallow, I felt that I needed to sit in sack cloth and ashes.

When the obvious became painful, I was afraid to tell my family, the bridal party, the 500 people who’d flown in for the ceremonies and even my own self. Once I got up the courage to face the fact that getting in was a choice and getting out was one too, I was able to relax in the awareness that I had done the right thing.

I live in an amazing life in a beautiful place; one I would not have chosen had I never married. I know the pain of lost love and the restoration of love renewed.

Before my mother passed away, she told me that the experience of the wedding and the move had been some of the best in her life and that no matter how things ended, I made the right choice.

When you wallow in the anger of a choice that doesn’t go as planned, you will find yourself frozen in time. Your head and your heart will have a hard time moving forward to the joy that life has for you and you will fail to see that all things truly work together.

Be you, be well, be happy.

Bertice Berry, PhD.

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