ENOUGHNESS
“You’ve got
to learn to leave well-enough alone.” My mother said these words to me practically
every day of my youth, but it took years for me to fully grasp the meaning.
I’m a tad on
the OCD side of things. If I’m cleaning something, I have a difficult time
stopping.
When I sit down to write, I have a difficult time getting up. My
mother could see that even as a child I was what some would call “Type A.”
I grew up in
a strict Pentecostal church. No one in my family went, I went on my own. All of
the rules and regulations were just right for one who believed that there was
no such thing as “well-enough.”
Something in
that church socialization led me to think and then believe that I could never
be good enough for God.
I couldn’t
give enough, do enough or be enough. We were told by many-a-folk who had the
microphone that our best was a filthy offering to God.
Amazingly,
our pastor, a quiet soft-spoken man didn’t see things that way. But Rev. Rainey
was not the firebrand that could bring down the fire.
The loud
emotion tugging ministers were the ones who let us know that God was never
pleased.
The
combination of poverty, Pentecostalism and a poor perspective of my own self
led me to believe that I could never be enough.
Enoughness is the state or condition
of being enough. Until you can see yourself as sufficiently adequate for the
task before you, you will find it very hard to believe in yourself, love
yourself, or do any of those things the good songs tell us to do.
Enoughness
is not about having or doing; it is about being. I could write much more on
this; I can make this better, but I’m going to leave well-enough alone.
Be you, be well, be
enough.
Bertice Berrry, PhD.
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