Thursday, February 23, 2012

Day 54 of Your Year to Wellness; When to say NO

When I learned to say no to the nonsense of others I had time to make sense for me
When to Say No
 Make the Most of Your Time

I’m often asked to speak about life-work balance. Everybody is stressed from doing too much, too often and they feel that they just don’t have enough time. In fact, one of the major reasons people cite for not being able to get fit is that they just don’t have enough time to do it.

We have more than enough time. That’s right, I said it and if you don’t like it meet me on the playground at—sorry I had a flash back to elementary school. Maybe that's because I feel it’s childish to think that you should have more time.

If we had more hours in the day, we’d use them to wear our bodies down. We need to use the time we have more efficiently.

Most people feel that they don’t have enough time or that time goes by too quickly because they don’t manage their time well. They are up late at night changing channels and wondering why with over 800 channels, there is nothing to watch. These folks have a hard time sleeping so they chat on a social network with someone who is just as tired but can’t sleep. The next day when it’s time for productivity they are tired and grumpy and when someone asks them to do something they refuse feeling they are too tired from having been too tired.

I’m really not talking to these folks—okay I will, go to bed and go to sleep.

Now, to you who feel that you need more time because you are constantly doing for others, I have a little tip for you. It’s taken me my entire life to figure this out, so I don’t expect you to become proficient in a day. I’d like you to spend the day looking through this lens.

When I am asked to do something for or with someone, I ask myself if the time I’m spending will multiply. In other words, will my doing something for someone enable them to do something for someone else?

The scriptures speak of considering ways to stimulate others to acts of kindness and love. I seek to do for others in a way that would inspire them to do for someone else.

You will be amazed at what you see. While looking through this lens, keep these things in mind:

·         The only person you can change is you. You can inspire others to breathe but you can’t breathe for them. Or as my mother would say, “You can lead a horse to water but you can’t make him drink.”

·         If people are constantly asking you to do things, be grateful because they know you that you get things done but keep in mind you can’t do everything.

·         Don’t judge others who don’t join in to help, be an example for them. (I’m still working on this myself. At times I want to yell, “Hey, if you would do for others you won’t feel so empty.”) Allow them to learn as we all must.

·         2 in purpose beats 20 with no purpose. It will be easier to work with those who get it than it is with those who don’t. When folks don’t want to help out, they will often sabotage the opportunity for everyone else. They will make things wrong to prove that they are right.

·         When you shine a light you illuminate others. Just like any energy source, you must be replenished and renewed.

Be well, be you, be wise,

Bertice Berry, PhD.

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