Thursday, December 22, 2011

Loving My Big Butt

 Loving yourself is the first step towards being well.

Ready to take the politician out
Okay, I got up all happy. It’s my daughter’s 19th birthday. Her optimism beats mine and so does her wit. She had a tremendously difficult year health wise, rebounding after being in critical condition when she suffered a series of horrible illnesses. To say that I am overjoyed is truly an understatement. My daughter is beautiful and becoming even more beautiful every day. I had planned to write about creating peace in our home and world by getting rid of the clutter, then something happened, I listened to the news. There’s a lot going on in the world and my prayers and meditations today are really focused on the conflict in Syria.

Unfortunately, I stepped into the political fray by accident (and be assured, I will not use this space to talk about politics.) I read and heard and read and heard again about a male politician commenting on Mrs. Obama’s behind. He decided to point out that it was large.

I am going to talk about this in a civilized manner, okay, I lied, I will not be civilized and I will not take this sitting down, why, because my butt is big and round and it wants to stand up and out.

For years, I was ashamed of my big butt. I have come to see that what we hate about our bodies only feeds our weight problems. I went on one diet after the next to “fix” my butt, but it wasn’t going anywhere. I would lose and gain and lose and gain and my less “blessed” friends would all comment on the fact that while I had lost a weight, I still had that butt. “It’s all behind you now,” one hater commented.

I tried all kinds of exercises to reduce my caboose but none of them worked. Then an amazing thing happened, when I started on my Year To Wellness plan and lost 150 pounds, I lost my butt. And guess what, I looked terrible. My natural body shape is curvy not flat, so I started lifting light weights and doing the lunges I had done back in graduate school. I introduced more protein to my vegetarian diet and my butt came back. I was grateful and so was the multitude of admirers who walked past. (I looked back and could see them still looking.)

I have learned that if you don’t like yourself as you are now, you cannot achieve any wellness goal, it would be like hiring someone who you don’t like and expecting to work well together, it just won’t happen.

Now back to the politician and his comment. He felt that Mrs. Obama could not tell anyone about their weight because she has a large posterior. Well, he and Hollywood and flat clothes designers and all of the folks who think that a woman can’t be shapely and healthy can kiss my big forehead.

I LOVE MY BIG BUTT. Which is just another way of saying, I love myself.

I am sticking it out there unashamed or afraid. We who are endowed know it. We don’t need anyone to point it out or tell us. We have tried to hide (which is like putting a basketball in a brief case.)

A while back, I bought a clingy off white dress and hung it in my closet. It was the one item I allowed myself to visualize wearing. I had gotten rid of everything else that did not fit, no matter how new or costly, I gave them all away. I wanted to get rid of the clutter and allow new energy, ideas and images to fill my mind and my closet. When I could finally fit the dress it was beautiful, but it clung to my butt and hips. I thought I should go ahead and give that away too, becasue I didn’t want to look like a Jezebel (Something shapely women are often accused of without having done anything to earn this title.) Instead, I decided to wear it with a long jacket which is what I had done when I weighed 290pounds, I tried to hide---good luck with that.

Anyway, I packed for a speaking event and when I arrived I realized that I had left my jacket. My flight had been delayed and I had gotten in too late to shop and replace it. I decided to be brave and wear the dress without a jacket and I’m so glad I did.

I stepped into the room and heard nothing but compliments. One 82 year old woman told me that I had the butt she had always prayed for. Another told me that I gave her the boldness to be proud of her own shape and I don’t even need to tell you what the brothers said (and yes I mean black and white brothers.)

What I had been ashamed of was actually an asset (you knew it was coming.)

Today, I had intended to write about letting go of clutter; in your home and in your mind. I was a little side tracked about the butt comment, but I guess that’s what I’m talking about after all. What others feel about our natural beauty affects the way we see ourselves, but ultimately, it’s up to us to be and embrace who we are.

·         What have you been trying to hide, cover, remove or alter?

·         Why? Really think about where the idea that you are not already beautiful came from.

·         Decide today that you will love you and renew this love on a daily basis. (I know it’s harder than it sounds but start today, I’ll be right here with you.)

Loving yourself is the first step to getting well.

Real people love real people

BE you be real be whole

Bertice Berry, PhD


  1. I LOVE IT! Congratulations on clearing out other people's clutter (judgement) from the way you see yourself. I HATED my body—specifically, my curves—for three decades of my life. It wasn't until my baby girls were born that I recognized the only way I could help them feel good about themselves was to show them that I felt good about myself. The mental and emotional work was hard, but I did it. Finally, I can say without hesitation, I absolutely love my curves—and I don't give a rat's patootie if anyone else has a problem with it. Kudos to you! (And I'm LOVING your blog!)

  2. love it!!! and love my booty too!! :-) thanks for sharing!

  3. I always thought you had a beautiful body Ms. Berry!!! I use to watch your show hoping to get a glimpse of thickness(young hormones and all). Im glad you have found peace with yourself. Maybe other well endowed women will feel better about themselves and not feel that they have to hide their bodies(which usually causes more interest).