Are You Making Life Harder?
"Stop borrowing trouble; the day has enough of it's own."~My Mama
A wise young woman once observed that life is already hard, but we often make it harder than it needs to be.
In the past few weeks, I have watched friends and loved ones deal with illness and death. I have witnessed their courage and integrity during a time of grief and loss. They have bared their pain with the dignity that comes with a life well-lived.
In contrast, I have also witnessed the suffering of those who didn’t need to. For some reason, these folks decided that they needed to create some drama so that they could have a starring role.
You might ask, who am I to judge? But I’d have to tell you that I am just making an observation (the privilege of being a sociologist.)
You don’t have to be a sociologist to know that we have a choice. Life is hard; even when it’s good, it requires hard work. When it’s tough, it also requires hard work; so choose hard-good.
When we groan and complain, wallow in pity and refuse to grow up, we are causing ourselves and those around us, more suffering than is necessary.
Before you complain about life or decide to destroy the progress you have made, ask yourself the following:
· Will my complaining change anything?
· Will it make me stronger?
· Do I always feel the way I am feeling right now? (If not, shut up and wait until the feeling passes and make your point then.)
· What I think about someone else has more to do with me than it does them. Before making bold proclamations about a job or relationship, ask yourself: “Is it me?”
· Am I making more work for myself?
· If you are in a situation that is toxic, why are you still there?
My life is hard, but it is also wonderful. Every week I have to fly to completely new places and meet completely new people. Some weeks I’m in a different bed every night and I often find myself in uncomfortable situations. I stand in long lines and then sit and wait; sometimes for hours on end.
When a flight is late or canceled, I sit and wait some more. I am often lost, confused, disoriented and tired, but here is the truth: I love my life and work.
Whether I am sick, tired or sick and tired, I feel that I am one of the fortunate; because I have learned a wonderful secret; Life is hard any how; so let life be good.
Be you, be well, choose good.
Bertice Berry, PhD.