The Art of Living; Stop Looking For Love

 

Be The Love

I’m single and so are many of my friends. Sometimes we talk about the love we want to have. We often speak of soul mates; a true love; the ONE.

I’m 53 and if I'm to be blatantly honest, then I must to tell you that I have met the ONE--- many times.

Our yearning, and refining our list of must haves, needs to be turned back around and demanded upon ourselves.

Today, I’m asking you to STOP looking for the one. Instead, let's start being the love we are looking for.

Extend kindness to a stranger.

Care for an animal.

Spend time with someone who is lonely.

Gather with wonderful friends.

Before making another perfect child, love the ones you have now.

Travel and see the world (when family comes along, you’ll wish you’d already done it.) Click here and Join me and my friends on a travel and learn tour

Know what you value and find friends who value those things also.

Learn and experience new things.

Talk to God and never stop loving.                                                              

Love is everywhere you are; stop looking and BE the love you want to be.

 

Be you, be well, Be LOVE

Bertice Berry, PhD.

 

The Art of Living: Do You Shine?

Okay, that's a bright flash

Do You Shine?

Okay boys and girls, it’s time to get deep. I want you to think about something that’s visible and yet intangible. I’m talking about your shine, or glow as it’s often called.

 We all know those folks who just shine. They don’t even have to speak, but when they enter a room, you can feel their presence.

Shine has nothing to do with wealth or level of education. It goes beyond race or ethnicity. Shine is not diminished by age or weight; it simply is.

Today I want to ask you this; do you shine?

Do you light up a room with your smile and warmth? Does your presence cause children to laugh and sing? Do dogs and cats seem to want to be near you---okay I don’t know about that one but you get my drift.

Everyone should shine. We all have a light; a spark of the Divine within us. We are a part of the cosmos and the cosmos is a part of us.

You can’t compete for it; it is not won as a prize. Desmond Tutu has it and so did Mother Teresa. Before they are told what they can and cannot be, all children absolutely shine.

When you help someone in need and when you know you are enough, you shine.

Shine comes from being the recipient of grace/charisma and it comes from love.

Shine appears after the appreciation of a hard day’s work and it comes from a night of reflection.

There are more ways to shine; go find them and when you do, shine that light brightly that others will find their way---to shine.

Be you, be well, be shine.

Bertice Berry, PhD.

Order A Year to wellness and SHINE YOUR LIGHT

The Art of Living Better: Be Secure

Wake up and see your true self

Are You In-Secure?

We all have our insecurities. For years, I dealt with an insecurity concerning my looks. I thought I was all of the things I had been told as a child; fat, ugly and too black. (Too black for what; I finally asked myself.)

Late one night; unable to sleep, I turned on my television to the PBS channel. I saw a beautiful woman on a program I had never seen. I thought to myself; I’d love to look like that. She’s the perfect size and has beautiful skin. Her smile is amazing.

I’m tearing up as I write this, because as crazy as it may be, I looked more closely and could see that the beautiful woman was me. I had tapped a series for PBS that helped teach English as a second language. I’d never seen the series, so when I did I could not even recognize the beautiful women on the other side of the screen.

That night, I cried and cried. I had been holding an image of myself that was not accurate. It was based on the lies I’d been told by folks who had been told the same lies about themselves.

I woke up and when I did, I grew up and away from that childhood insecurity.

What lie have you believed about yourself?

What are you holding inside of you that affects the way you feel and act?

The only way to address an insecurity is to go inside. Too often, we seek to fill our void with the love of another broken soul, or the false high of drugs or alcohol. We even try to mask our doubts with busywork that centers on anything but the thing that we need to face.

We spend more time and money on the security of our house than we do for the insecurities of the self.

Today, look at yourself and then go inside.

Look deeply at the old feelings of self-worth and face them with the truth; that you are beautiful, powerful and wonderful as you are.

Be you, be well, be strong.

Bertice Berry, PhD.

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The Art of Living Better: Who's In Your Community?

No me without a we

Who’s In Your Community?

            Okay people, I want---no need you to understand that you are better when there is a “we” in your life.

In order to be more grounded, more aware, more active, creative and a whole bunch of other things you need to be involved in a community.

One of the first things we learn in sociology is that the self is social; in other words, there is no “you” without a “we.”

You need to belong to a group, an activity, a collective of folks.

Belonging to something makes you happier, more whole, more human.

So get up and get involved in your life by being involved in life with others.

If you like to sing, join a choir.

Dance

Join a book club

Be a part of a community council

Invite folks into your home

Dust off your high school instrument and join a band

Get together with old friends

Get involved.

You are better when you get together with others; better still when you do something with them.

Be you, be well, be we.

Bertice Berry, PhD.

Order A Year to Wellness and Start Your Journey TODAY

The Art of Being Better: Add Another Potato

Add Another Potato

When I was growing up, my mother had the rather annoying habit of helping anyone in need.

It was only annoying because we never had enough for ourselves. We were 7 kids and a single mom, but if someone was hungry, without or in need of a place to stay my mother would say, “We’ll just add another potato.”

She meant that whatever she was preparing could be stretched a bit further by simply adding another potato.

It didn’t matter to her that we really didn’t have any potatoes or much of anything else; she always shared.

I have had a Japanese sister and infant niece, white brothers and sisters and a slew of other folks who became family.

My mother accepted everyone regardless of race, orientation and even class. (We once had a family member whose family could have bought our entire town, but he’d been kicked out of his home because of he was gay.)

When I asked my mother why she gave away what little we had, she said that we could always share with someone who had less and that by doing so, we were bringing true wealth to our own lives.

We all need each other. Even when our own pot is low, we still have something we can share.

This morning, I got a note from a woman who shares everything she has with anyone in need.

 Carolle Jean Murat, M.D. has offered her services, care, home and income to anyone in need. For years she has provided for a community in Haiti that was poor before the hurricane and devastated afterwards.

Her insight before the hurricane helped save the lives of those she was serving.

She will be going back down with a team and needs our help.

Here is a link to read more and to give a small donation to those who need more than you. Anything will help. http://healththroughcommunications.org/donate.html

By adding another potato to someone in need, we add true wealth to the home of humanity.

I love you.

Be you, be well, be wonderful.

Bertice Berry, PhD.

What Gives you Joy?

Waking up ready to learn

What Gives You Joy?

Reverend Sierra Wilkinson Reyes has a smile and glow that is pure joy. I was in front of her soaking up the shine from her glow; a glow she willingly shares when she asked me the question.

“What gives you joy,” Sierra asked smiling. (Now that I think of it, I’ve never seen her not smiling.)

I felt compelled to tell her my truth, one I hadn’t really admitted to myself.

“I love to learn and I love to share what I learn with others.” I said smiling back.

As soon as I did, I wished for some other answer; one that made me sound like Indiana Jones or better yet Harriett Tubman; now there’s an adventurer.

I wished that I had said surfing, or mountain climbing. I wanted to be able to tell her that I enjoyed trekking the Himalayas with the Dalai Lama, but all I had was learning and sharing.

Sierra smiled the smile that a professor gives when you’ve gotten the right answer; one that could never be wrong and I knew my own truth.

So today, I’m asking you to ask your heart the same thing; what gives you joy?

What do you do that helps you wash away worry and resentment?

What would you do even if no one was paying you?

What would you like to think of when you wake up, and when you lay down to sleep?

If money was no object and Oprah left everything to you, what would you do with your life?

If you knew that today was the day and you had to find joy right now, what would it be?

No one has your answer, but everyone feels it when you don’t know it and don’t live it.

Be you, be knowing, be joy.

Bertice Berry, PhD.

Order A Year to Wellness and Find Your Joy TODAY

The Art of Living Better: First Things First

Not there yet--got work first

First Things First

            Okay boys and girls, I’ve got a new toy in the form of my left foot and I really want to get to walking. I’m recovering from foot surgery and I’m itching to get out doors.

I feel like a kid again wanting to run and play before chores are done, but there must be an order to life.

This morning, when I sat down to write, I had to stop and clean off the table before I could even do so. My daughter believes that washing the dishes means washing the dishes, but I grew up in a time when washing the dishes meant cleaning the entire kitchen; floors included. You could not say that you had washed the dishes if you hadn’t cleaned the kitchen table too.

My mother’s mantra was “first things first.”

She’d say things like, “Put things back to where they came from and no one would know you had them.”

My mother believed that you should leave things better than how you found them and that by taking care of the little things you were making the big ones happen.

In this world of super-fast information and instant gratification, we need to be reminded that there really is an order to the process and a process to success.

Take care of the small things and the big things will appear.

Everything takes time so whether you are waiting for a foot to heal or a child to really grow up, take the necessary steps to care for, clean, teach and discipline your day.

If “a” plus “b” equals “c” then get your “a” game ready. Stop trying to have “c” without “a” and “b”.

My mom worked hard, raised seven children on her own and kept talking about how things were going to get better. She kept working and we kept listening. When we got tired of hearing her, we applied her lessons and found them to be true.

My mom was 87 when she died, and she would have told you that her hard work paid off.

Be you, be disciplined, be better.

Bertice Berry, PhD.

Order A Year to wellness and Get Your Joy in Order