Day 52 of Your Year to Wellness; The Impression you Leave



                                 Leaving a Legacy…

 When You Leave a Room

Have you noticed that the better you become, the less you think about your physical self? I’ve been hearing from folks who report that they are losing more weight than ever and it is much easier than ever. However, they are all amazed that the weight loss is not nearly as important as the life they are gaining.

Today I’d like you to look at your life through the following question; how do you want to be remembered?

I’m not talking about the kind of remembering folks do after you are dead and gone; I mean the kind of memory that lingers after you leave a room. What would you like to be known for? I have asked this question of friends and of possible suitors (okay, I’m getting old,) and I’m always amazed by the answers. Folks tend to pause; giving the question just enough thought to find their meaning and then suddenly they see their answer.

“I’d like to be known as a classy guy.” One man told me. I waited for something more and when it didn’t come, I asked, if that was all. He said that was all, he wanted to be seen as that classy guy from the old movies. Another man once told me that he just wanted to be known as a nice guy. I thought that this was sweet but still wondered if this was all that folks aspire to.

I spent a week asking this question and learned that the answer was not something we tend to give much thought; as a result we don’t give it much practice.

We spend a great deal of our lives seeking to impress others. My mother used to say, “Folks who need to be impressed haven’t done anything impressive.” Instead of trying to impress others, why not seek to inspire them?

I began to look for my own answer and found that my desire was to have my presence felt as someone who inspired others to do for someone else. I’d really like it if when I left a room, people suddenly felt inspired to touch someone else’s life but didn’t even know why. I want to live my life so well, that when I die everyone I’ve known or touched suddenly feels compelled to do for someone else.

What do you want to be known for? What are you known for now? When you leave a room do people sigh in relief or do they smile with the joy of knowing that they have been touched?

How do children think of you? Do they see you as helpful, funny, wise or oddly inappropriate? Do you inspire them to be better or do you criticize them leaving them feeling less than themselves?

Today, imagine that a part of you stays behind observing what others feel about you. What do you inspire? Begin to practice the legacy you are leaving.

Be you, be well, Be the impression.

Bertice Berry, PhD.

Order the book and Year to Wellness and start your journey today

photo by Ashley Lee--critical care nurse

Day 51 of Your Year to Wellness; Understanding Your Season

From my friend Patricia's backyard in Park Cities, Utah

For Every Season

There is a time and season for all things but we must also understand that our lives have a season too.

I live in Savannah Georgia and this year has been particularly warm. It’s February and we’ve had temperatures in the high 70s. People have been happy with this weather but I feel differently about it. My reason for this feeling came from a lesson taught to me by an Oklahoma farmer turned limo driver.

Several years ago while working in Oklahoma I landed to a warm winter day. I commented to my driver that he must be happy with the weather. I heard the brakes before I felt the sudden stop of the town car. The driver pulled over and told me a thing or two.

“Little lady,” he said. I knew I was in for a good old fashioned talking to, “Every farmer worth his crop knows that you need at least two harsh weeks of winter or every pest around is gone’ eat what you done planted.”

Wow, I thought to myself, this guy is a philosopher and a driver. He went on to tell me that the winter had been unseasonably warm and that a freeze was necessary to kill off the pests before time for harvest.

I apologized for my ignorance and he apologized for scaring me. As we drove to my hotel, he continued to school me on the seasons of harvest.

I am no longer happy about a hot winter because I know that our sand gnats will be the same size of the hummingbirds.

I have also come to see that our lives also go through a seasonal cycle. We must plant at the proper time and hibernate when necessary. Summer is not a time to play, but a time of canning and preparing for winter, which, as I have learned is necessary for ever life. Yes, winter makes us grateful for spring, but more importantly, it freezes off the unseen issues which grow right next to our harvest hoping to destroy it.

Because I spent so much of my life on an academic calendar, I still live and move as if the year begins in September. My time of harvest is not the same as that of another but it coincides with the calendar of my household.

Understanding your season will enable you to recognize the seasons of another. Are you in spring when your husband is in his winter? (Yeah, I know, lots to think about.)

When you begin to understand your own season, you can plan for the natural cycles that occur.

I’d love to go on with this but I have one of those early flights and you have work to do. Today, look at your life and think about the following:

·         When do you feel like your year begins?

·         What is the purpose of each season? (Even when I lived in San Diego, I could feel the impact of the seasons.)

·         Do you maximize the seasons of your life? Do you plant in the right time and wait for the harvest or do you become impatient and destroy the crop?

·         Recall a harsh winter in your life. What lesson did it yield?

·         Thank a farmer

We have become a nation of weather watchers, but we have no understanding of the seasons of our lives. Learn your season and live your life.

Be you, be present, be in season.

Bertice Berry, PhD.

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Day 50 of Your year to Wellness; Time to Move

The Time to Move

When we first started out on this journey, I told you that wellness is not just about the body; it is the realignment of the spirit mind and body.

It is proclaimed in 1Timothy in the Bible that bodily exercise profits little, but that Godliness is profitable in all things. Godliness, or Holiness, which comes from the word Hal, means health, happiness and wholeness.

I grew up in a Pentecostal church. The members of the church didn’t put a lot of faith in exercise. They took a great deal of pride in the fact that we did not dance, bowl, swim or do anything that required moving the body in a “sinful” manner. (I know, I’m laughing with you.) But if we are to be whole and complete, we must recognize the harmony between the spirit, mind and body.

When we realize that we do not have a soul; that instead we are a soul living in a body, we can see the reason not to put too much emphasis on the body alone. However, our body is the temple in which we dwell and we must maintain it with proper exercise.

The real question is what is proper. I will tell you right now that I have engaged in practically every form of exercise. In fact, when I was in graduate school, I was a gym rat and hung out with body builders and power lifters (another story for another time.)

We have all bought those exercise programs that show the amazing before and after pictures of fat folks turned fit. Those DVDs are now most likely somewhere in the back of a closet where you don’t ever have to see them again.

When I talk about exercise, I'm talking about healthy movement. Throughout my wellness program I’ve learned that too much exercise really does profit little, but the right amount adds life.

Let’s get to it, here’s what you need to know.

·         You gotta move. Sitting does more damage to the body than french fries. Every joint was designed for movement. When we fail to do move we are doing damage to the body. Roll your ankles and wrist. Move your waist even when you sit. You must move.

·         What do you like? When finding an exercise pick something you enjoy. If you don’t you won’t want to do it regularly.

·         Good exercise is like anything that’s good; do it to hard or too long and it’s no longer good.

·         Gradually work up to your potential. The problem with most exercise programs is that they assume that the participant is already fit. Start at home with something you enjoy.

·         You are your own gym. Become familiar with the equipment and use it regularly.

Your body is your temple and you have to move it to maintain it.

Be you, be well, be moving.

Bertice Berry, PhD

Order the Book a Year to Wellness and Start your journey today

Day 49 of Your Year to Wellness; Making The Right Choice

 Making the Right Choice

We are all plagued from time to time as to whether or not we have made the right choice. But as the writer M.T Anderson wrote, “Hindsight is cheap.”

It’s easy to look back and think I should have done this, or I should have done that but what if we could see the outcome of our choices before we make them enabling us to do the right thing for now?

This week, I had a big choice to make. The Year to Wellness and other Weight Loss Secrets was nominated for an NAACP Image Award and as you may know the ceremony was last night in Los Angeles. I dreamt of going and being in the midst of all that beauty and talent.

Nothing was going to come between me and my seat with the other nominees.

Life is beautiful and round and wonderful and every now and then, we get to see it come full circle. I was asked to see if I’d be a match for a friend of a friend in need of a kidney transplant. Long story short, I’m donating a kidney and will be doing the big physical before the surgery.

I learned from my friend Jerry and another friend Ann, both kidney donors that the more fit you are, the better the recovery. So I decided to start cleansing and preparing for the surgery.

Life gave me a beautiful choice; I could go and hobnob as I wanted to or make preparations for the kidney donation as I wanted and needed to do.

Now, before you get to thinking that I’m some kind of saint please understand that I was cussing and fussing the entire time. What made my choice so easy and wonderful were several things:

·         My sisters Christine and Jeanine were as happy about me going as they were about me not going.

·         I have wonderful folks who support, inform and encourage me.

·         My mother gave up a lot more just to go to a local NAACP  meeting and she was not wearing a gown.

·         I look good.

·         I feel better.

When you choose from Love, you always win.

Be you, be Well, be Love,

Bertice Berry, PhD.

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Day 48 of Your Year to Wellness; Changing the Mood

Changing the Mood or the Love Exercise

This has become a week of exercises. It wasn’t my intention; it just turned out that way. Well I have another one for you, I call this the love exercise and in a minute you’ll find out why.

Have you ever passed those folks who look like life has gotten the best of them, and they intend to take it out on you. You may work with people like this or just pass them on the street. I see them in the airports as both passengers and employees. These folks take their troubles with them everywhere they go. (As I tell my children, I’m not judging, I’m making an observation.) They look mad before you say “hello” and get madder after you do.

“Good Morning.” I say to a bathroom attendant.

“What’s so good about it?” She barks back.

I want to tell her that she has a job indoors that she gets to see people from all over the world and that as the Atlanta airport is a major point of entry to the United States; she is an ambassador. But she’s thinking about the argument she just had with her boyfriend over which Nike sneakers their 5 year old should wear to school. (I know this because I heard her on her cell phone.) She can’t see that there are people from all over the world, because in her job all she sees is their crap; literally.

What if I could help her see? What if you could shape the attitude of those who don’t feel that there is anything good to smile about?

When I moved to the South I learned many things; smile, say “yes, ma’am and yes sir to the people who serve you, even when they are younger than you, and when you see a bunch of men standing around the bed of a pick-up truck, don’t run they’re just talking. One of the most important things I’ve observed is that everyone speaks. It doesn’t matter if they are driving by, or walking, they will acknowledge you and they will try to beat you to it. I once asked my mother about this. She grew up on a farm in the Southern part of Delaware and though it’s in the North, Delaware is a Southern state, with a history of slavery and all. In fact, we often point out that Delaware was the first to get slaves and the last to let them go.

Anyway, my mother told me that the old folks believed that when you speak first, you set the mood of the exchange. If the other person is mad, but you extend joy; you have made that person joyful.

Don’t worry, I’m not going to ask you to run around and speak to everyone, but I’d like you to try this exercise throughout the day.

When you cross the path of someone or can see into their eyes, think of something kind that you would wish for them. You can just start with this simple thought; “I wish you peace.”

As you do this, you will find that your mind will begin to create stories about the person’s life. You may imagine that they had a hard day and need rest and so you will wish them rest. Allow your mind to take a brief moment with your “subject” (because this is an exercise) to simply give something without wanting anything in return.

You will be amazed by the outcome for yourself. Even if the person does not change before your eyes, you will have changed in theirs.

What you give out always comes back.

Be you, be well, be Love,

Bertice Berry, PhD

Order the book A Year to Wellness and change your life today

Day 47; Knowing What to Want

Knowing What to Want

I believe that we can have whatever we desire but the trick to life is in knowing what to want. If you put your heart and mind to something and are willing to work for it, then you can have it.

When I was a kid I heard my pastor tell a story about two women in the mental hospital where he volunteered.

There was a woman there who cried for a man named Johnny. “Johnny, Johnny, Johnny.” She cried out night and day. Down the hall another woman cried for a man of the same name; Johnny, Johnny, Johnny, she cried.” He asked the first woman about her Johnny and why she cried for him. The woman told him that she longed for Johnny. She wanted and needed him badly, so much so, that the desire drove her mad.

He went to the second woman and was amazed to learn that the Johnny she cried about was the same man. He wondered what Johnny had or did that could make these women cry out for him. He asked the woman why she wanted Johnny and she stopped crying and said, “I’m not crying because I want Johnny, I’m crying because I had Johnny.”

Even as a kid I understood the humor in this; longing for something can drive you mad, but so can getting it.

Whether it’s love of a man or a new job you really have to know what to want and you need to want what’s good for you.

I love it when I have choices in anything. When I get to choose where to go or what to do, I feel abundant and rich with life but sometimes choices can get us into trouble. Having too much to choose from often leads to taking some of everything and that’s never good.

Yesterday, I came home tired from a long trip, but my day was not over. My daughter had a night class, and I needed to pick her up. I was exhausted and pass my bedtime but I went to get her laughing and talking to myself. I thought about how amazing it was that the little 3 moth old baby that came to me suddenly 19 years ago had suddenly grown up. When I got to the campus I was laughing and smiling. Fatima thought I was loopy from the day’s travel, so she apologized for having taken a night class.

I told her that I had a choice; I could be tired from a good day or tired from a bad one. I could be picking her up from a college campus or visiting her in a prison. She laughed and asked if there was anything in between.

When I got back home, I was rewarded with lots of wonderful email from people who are dedicated to reading daily and becoming their best self.

One sister friend wrote that she had been sharing the post with her collogues at work. Pat is a nurse and said that they were all grateful for the inspiration.

She wrote that she had shared the posts with the hospital chaplain who then gave her an exercise to share with me.

This exercise is simple and powerful and it helps us to see how to choose and what to choose.

“What if you woke up today and you had nothing except the things you were grateful for yesterday?

That’s it. When you show gratitude or fail to do so, you are choosing .

Thank you Pat and hospital Chaplain and thank you readers for choosing to join me on this amazing journey.

Live the day through this simple exercise

Be you, Be well, Be Better

Bertice Berry, PhD.

Order the book A Year to Wellness and join us on the journey

Day 46 of Your Year To Wellness; The Way

The Way

Today’s lesson is short and simple, but I am hoping that the impact is huge.  

I‘d like you to spend the day with this exercise and use it as your guide; ask yourself if you are in the way, or showing the way.

It really is that simple. Apply the lesson to the food you eat, the things you say and even the thoughts you have. Is what I’m saying revealing a path of truth and life for me and for others or is it in the way of my wellness?

Do the things I say to my children provide encouragement or do they cause pain and confusion? Am I in the way or showing the way?

Do I help my colleagues fulfill our mission and goals for work or am I in the way of their progress?

Am I eating something that sustains my life or does it flip the switch called genetics turning on a health issue that’s plagued my family for generations?

When I talk to a loved one am I saying something that gets in the way of a loving relationship or does it shine the light on what love truly is?

As you look at your life through this lens be mindful of the following:

·         You will be amazed by the things you do and say.

·         You are in charge of your behavior. (No one can really “make” you mad or happy.)

·         The line between showing the way and in the way is rather fine.

·         You are more powerful than you know.

·         You make a difference and have an impact.

You are in control of this trip called life; choose your direction wisely.

Be well, Be you, Be The Way

Bertice Berry, PhD

Order the book A Year to Wellness and start your journey today