Hello boys and girls. It’s been a while since I’ve written in this space. I’ve been doing some things, cleaning some things, moving some things.
In the process of my de-cluttering, I stumbled upon an old writing I had hidden away in a book. (Was it Malcom or Martin who said “If you want to hide something, put it in a book?” I think it was Malcom---)
At the top of the found page I had written Gratitude/Ingratitude.
I smiled at my very familiar scribble. I have a way of writing extremely small on the back of something that I’ve recycled. Back when I was a graduate student and couldn’t afford paper, I would strive to get as much as I could on whatever I found.
Even now with paper and space, I write the same way, dropping in French, Spanish and even Korean words that I’m trying to add to the languages I don’t practice enough.
I read my own words and was blessed by the lesson I share with you now.
Imagine two doors. Each are closed but one door leads to despair, anger, frustration, hurt, loneliness, pain, and lack, while the other door serves as an entry point for happiness, joy, clarity, fulfillment, peace and abundance.
In any situation, at any time, you can choose either door.
I got a call from an old boyfriend. He told me how much he missed me. At first, I was angry. I wondered why it had taken him so long to feel this way. I remembered my two doors and realized that I had chosen the one leading to anger. If I had continued in my thoughts, I would have begun to feel lonely, unhappy and unsatisfied, believing that I had failed in love.
I quickly closed the door and opened the second; the door of gratitude.
Then I was happy for the call. Although I had no desire to revisit the relationship with him, nor did I want to start a new one, I was able to express my appreciation for our time together. He went on to tell me how wonderful I am and that even though he had missed out, he was grateful for what I'd taught him and for the love we share.
When I controlled my choice between gratitude and ingratitude I controlled my outcome. What could have been anger and resentment became clarity and joy.
I reread my words and wondered when I had written them. (Head injuries are not for everybody.)
I started to feel frustrated with my failure to remember and I knew that I had not chosen the right door, so I told myself thank you for the lesson and a feeling of joy came flooding in.
In this New Year decide and chose your outcomes. You can have pain and unhappiness, insecurity and loneness or you can have clarity, peace, joy and fulfillment.
I’m not here to tell you which door to pick, I’m just here to say how grateful I am that you chose to spend a moment with me.
Thank you, I love you.
Be You, Be Well, Be Grateful
Bertice Berry, PhD.