What is Real and What is Imagined

What is Real and What is Imagined

As I wrote yesterday, your brain does not know the difference between what you see and what you imagine. The mind however, is a different matter. It holds onto and builds upon every memory and each experience.

These abilities can be used to your advantage. They can also work to your disadvantage.

Many years ago, when I had just graduated from Jacksonville University, I took a job with the city in the Victim’s Assistance Office as a researcher. The job required that I design forms and questionnaires and I also helped conduct a city-wide survey assessing the experiences of victims of crimes. It was important work.

People who have been victims of even what we’d think of as indirect acts of crime, experience trauma and often have a very difficult time recovering.

One of the things that stood out in the research was the level of fear of crime in comparison to the actual experience thereof.

People were more prepared for burglary than they were prepared to read to their children. We have more fear of someone coming into our home at night than we do of the destruction we do in our own homes to one another.

Over and over again I would ask respondents about the degree to which they expected to be violated and then I would ask if they had ever been. They would say they had never been and then they would go on and on about how they had to be ready.

Today, I want you to be ready to be happy, healthy and loved.

Arm your life with an alarm that tells you when you are about to be unhappy and then quickly do something about it. Imagine that you are happy. Imagine that you are well. Imagine that you are whole.

Begin to see yourself in the state you desire rather than the one you fear. You can manifest either.

See yourself as beautiful, smart and loved. Imagine that you have what you need and begin to live that way.

Smile, breathe, love more deeply than ever before and when adversity comes, you will be prepared.

I have been victimized and abused, but I refuse to be what happened to me.

I am a reflection of Love on earth.

Be you, be well, be LOVE

Bertice Berry, PhD.

Order a Year to wellness and start your journey TODAY

Getting Rid of your Fear

Havng a good time and loving it

Getting Rid of Your Fear

Okay boys and girls, if you haven’t gone deep enough, get your diving gear on because we are going deeper.

Through the years, I’ve learned that life is a lot like swimming; the further out you go, the easier it gets, but you have to get past your fear and let go of the edge.

A great deal of the insecurity you have today is based on a fear you had when you were younger. Over the years you’ve added more examples to your pile of fear and while you may have forgotten the original fright, you have held on to the anxiety that comes with anything that resembles it.

I’ll give you an example. When I was young I had one of the best days of my life. All of my siblings and every one of my cousins had gone to Lum’s Pond. It was a murky old thing, but to us it was the best place in the world.

We played and swam and laughed all day. I remember looking into the sky thinking this will be the day by which all days are measured. (I was just 12 but already writing in my head.)

The day was perfect but it was not what came to be remembered. Someone came and got us and we all went to my grandmother’s house. When we got there, my mother and her sisters were crying.
We soon learned that my grandmother had died.

From that moment on, I became fearful of having too good of a time. It may sound crazy to you and it should, but this is the way the brain works. It seeks to protect you from a danger or harm, but it doesn’t know the difference between what is real and what is imagined. Additionally, the brain remembers every detail of the negative so that you try to avoid that danger in the future.

I have seen in my own self a fear whenever things seem too perfect. Sometimes I do the right thing, but there have been many times when I have not.

We all suffer from anxiety and fear; sometimes that fear is real, but more often than not it is based on what we have imagined and enhanced.

Time to put on the diving gear; please don’t forget the breathing tank.

Recall a moment when you were worried, really worried. Think about the thing that gave you more anxiety than anything else. If you look close enough, you will see that your level of worry did not match the problem you faced.

Now go deeper and look at what truly caused you to be more concerned than you needed to be.

What is the source?

Now, pay close attention boys and girls, because the best part is up to you. Now that you know the source of your concern make the decision to do something about it. You will have to do this on a daily basis. You will need to work on this thing until the button that gets pushed is no longer working.

Whenever I feel a moment of fear because I’m having too good of a time, I simply tell myself that I deserve it and if anything happens, then so does life. It is the natural order of things.

Be you, be well, be diving deeper.

Bertice Berry, PhD.
Order the book A Year to Wellness and start your journey TODAY

Dealing With Insecurity; Perception is Reality

What’s Perceived as Real Is

In Sociology we have a saying, “If something is perceived as real then it becomes real in its consequences.

In other words, no matter what you believe; if you believe it enough, then what you manifest will be seen through the lens of those beliefs.

If you believe that you are unattractive, then that is what you will see. Moreover, what you see will eventually be manifested for others to see as well.

In dealing with your insecurities, it is important that you look deep into your past for that moment when you decided to believe that which is not true.

When did you decide that you were fat or stupid or inadequate?

Sometimes we are given a hand in our beliefs. What we think is often grounded in the things that we have been told, but most often, they were told  to us by someone who is even less secure then we are.

When you don’t feel great about yourself, you will try to take others with you. Misery doesn’t just like company, it likes miserable company.

When folks don’t feel good about themselves, they will often spread their dislike with others.

Today ask yourself the following:

Is what I’m feeling real?

What is this belief based on?

What is the real root of my insecurity?

What is the truth?

You are beautiful, wonderful and powerful as you are; you can believe that.

Be you, be well, true.

Order a Year to Wellness and start seeing your truth today

Bertice Berry, PhD.

 

Week 8---Dealing with Insecurity

The Art of Living Week 8

Dealing With Your Insecurities

If you follow the lessons for this week, I can assure you that it won’t be easy, but I can also assure you that your outcomes will benefit you for the rest of your life.

We rarely deal with our insecurities head on, but a fulfilled life requires that you do just that.

Insecurities lead to comparison, competition and coveting. When we covet what someone else has, we become jealous. The jealousy leads to envy, strife and suffering.

A few days ago, I was standing in line at the airport waiting to board a flight. A very tall beautiful woman walked up and stood next to me. She looked like a life sized Barbie all grown up.

She was beautiful and wore expensive clothes and jewelry. She smiled at me and her smile was what folks call inviting.

So why in the world, would I begin to think negative thoughts about her? “Oh, here comes Ms. Beautiful with all the diamonds she’s conned men into giving her.”

“WHOA, where did that come from?” I asked myself.

“It came from you and those leftover insecurities.” I answered back.

I decided to face my insecurities and the beautiful woman head on. I asked her about her day and trip and learned that she was on her way to St. Thomas and then on to a cruise.

 “Great, the beautiful woman has a beautiful life.”  The old insecurities came creeping back in.

I told her that I had taught there many years ago and that she would have an amazing time. We boarded and she sat across from me. I had feared that she would be next to me and that I’d have to deal with my own negativity for the entire flight.

I breathed a sigh of relief and began to meditate. As I did I went looking inside myself for the source of my “stuff.”

I saw a young me being told that she was ugly and poor and black. I saw myself believing that I was fat and useless. I saw myself being told that I should focus on my studies because I was not beautiful enough to be “taken care of.”

I almost yelled “AH HA.” I could see that the old lies that I had accepted had now become my source of animosity towards someone else.

As I left the flight, the beautiful woman was again next to me. She was on her way to the same terminal and her gate would be next to mine. As we walked and talked, I noticed that she attracted attention everywhere she went. I pointed it out to her and learned that she had the same insecurities I had.

As a child, she had been told she was ugly and then she had married someone who abused her. It took her years to get free, and then more years to become strong. She had met a good man and they were getting married.

She smiled and said she enjoyed walking with me because I was so beautiful and secure. She said she noticed how everyone stared at me as we walked through the airport. I laughed and told her that they were staring at her.

As we parted ways, I hugged her and told her to keep believing that she deserved a good life.

With tears in her beautiful eyes she said, “That is the trick; we have to believe that we deserve a good life.”

I sat at my gate and cried tears of joy.

This week, when your negative thoughts come up, I’d like you to face them. Before you spiral into thinking that someone is doing something to you, I’d like you to think about what you are doing to yourself.

You are strong, healthy and happy.
You are a light and when you shine, others are able to do the same
You deserve a wonderful life

Be you, be well, be secure.

Bertice Berry, PhD.

Order a Year to Wellness and start your journey to security TODAY

 

 

 

 

 

Use The Force

Use the Force

 I’m a big fan of martial arts movies. I like the old black and whites that haven’t been translated very well. I actually enjoy reading the screen, as an old friend once called it.

He walked out of Crouching Tiger because he said if he wanted to read he wouldn’t have gone to a movie, he would have gotten a book instead. He’s no longer a friend, because I know he doesn’t read books either.

Anyway, I’m writing about martial arts movies for this reason only, I love the turnaround.

In these movies, even when the hero does not win, "good" still triumphs over "evil".

From these movies, I have learned a very important tool;use the force, the rage and  the unbalanced, uncontrolled anger and ego of your opponent for the good of all.

The best martial artists barely move. They allow their adversary to come crashing in and they simply pull that force forward to their own demise.

When I become angry or distressed, I ask myself why? Am I angry for a righteous cause? If so, the force is already with me.

If not; if I am angry because my ego is telling me that I deserve more, better, to be the best, then I use the force to calm and correct my own ego.

Allow the force to calm your waters and those of your opponent.

And remember this, if your style of living doesn’t work in every province, then your Kung Fu is no good.

Be you be well and may the force be with you.

Bertice Berry, PhD.

Order A Year to Wellness and let your Journey Begin

Purpose: Your Mission Statement

Live your Purpose so well, that others see it in you

Purpose: Your Mission Statement

Just as every company, foundation and association should have a mission statement; a proclamation of its intention for serving its customer, so should you.

Your Purpose is not your job, it is your calling, so no matter what your job, you should be living and working with your Purpose in mind.

I majored in sociology, three times. After I earned my doctoral degree, I told my family I was going to be a comedian. Needless to say, they thought I had lost my mind.

I’ve been an educator, lecturer, author of both fiction and non-fiction, a TV talk-show host, a cleaning woman (girl,) owner of an art gallery, a mother and oh yes a sociologist. In each and every job, I was living my intention; to educate, entertain, uplift, inform and inspire others to seek their highest potential for learning and being.

Sounds like a lofty goal but when you compare it to that of Harriet Tubman’s mission of setting the captives free, it seems somewhat small. The more I think about it, me and old Harriett have the same goal after all.

This morning, I have to catch an early flight. I had to yesterday when I came back home and I will again tomorrow. Travel is not always easy, but travel is not my Purpose, it is merely the vehicle for living my mission.

You can live out your Purpose in whatever profession you choose, but you must live it.

In order to live it, you must know it.

Today, write out a brief statement of your mission. Who will you serve? How will you serve them?

Your Purpose is not about you or your comfort in life; your Purpose is about changing the lives and level of comfort of others. But living your Purpose will bring comfort to you.

As my mother used to say, “If you don’t like it you can lump it.”

I have no idea what she meant, so I chose “like it.”

Be you, be well, be on a mission.

Bertice Berry, PhD.

Order a Year to Wellness and begin your journey TODAY

Week 7; Finding and Living Your Purpose

Finding and Living Your Purpose

I’ve been writing and teaching about the notion of Purpose for over 30 years. When I first started out, people thought I was crazy.

This was long before books, tapes and motivational speakers had laid out the idea. It was before Corporate America had come to realize that neither the carrot nor the stick were enough to motivate its workforce.

Back when I began to talk about Purpose, most people had not considered the fact that their true motivation was not money or the lack thereof. Back then, we worked for a paycheck and expected to hate what we did until we couldn’t do it anymore.

Much of the generational divide that is experienced today is a result of the fact that younger folks have grown up with a desire for purpose in their lives.

On the other hand, us OGs (Old Guard) are often envious of youngsters who can leave a job or not take one simply because they do not feel fulfilled by it.

But, I digress—I was trying to convey to you is that the idea of Purpose is new to our world, but it is not new. Still, when I’d talk about it with my doctoral colleagues, I was laughed at and told to find something concrete or change my major to philosophy.

Your Purpose is not your job, it is your calling.

Everyone has a Divine Appointment; something that only they alone can do. Finding your Purpose and living it requires that you go inside yourself to find the very essence and reason for your existence.

One of the best examples of a Purpose-filled life is that of William Wilberforce the famous abolitionist. Wilberforce was born with the proverbial silver spoon in his mouth and was given all of the necessary tools for success. He became one of youngest members of Parliament and was primed for greatness.

However, after a spiritual conversion, Wilberforce wrote a mission statement that would change his history and the history of the world.

“God has set before me two great objects: the suppression of the Slave Trade and the reformation of manners.” By reformation of manners, Wilberforce meant the restoration of a civilized society.

The task took almost 50 years, but Wilberforce accomplished his incredible task  just 3 days before he passwed away.

You can read more about the amazing life of William Wilberforce, but what I’d like you to see here is that you must decide and design what it is you are here to do. [More about Wilberforce]

Throughout this week, I will outline tools and information to guide you in the determination, design and implementation of a life that is led by your very own Purpose.

External drives don’t last. When you find your true internal motivation, you will work beyond what is comfortable, you will be more compassionate and loving and you will find balance of the spirit and body and peace of mind.

Today, begin to ask yourself the following questions:

·         What has been your greatest struggle?

·         What are you passionate about?

·         Describe your life’s journey; including your ancestral make-up.

·         If money were no object and you could do anything, what would it be and why?

I know, I know, this is heady stuff, but throughout the week, I hope you find that it’s more hearty than heady.

"You are unique. In all the world there is no one like you. In all the world there is no one who can do what you can do."~~ Society of Friends

What are you here for?

Be you, be well, be your Purpose.

Bertice Berry, PhD.

Order a Year to Wellness and start your journey TODAY

Do it In Love

Do it in Love

Okay, so I know that yesterday was Valentine’s Day, but today, I’d like you to be more loving.

Whatever you do, do it with, for and in LOVE.

A few days ago, I left my house during a huge storm. Thunder rolled and the lightening flashed. I kept waiting for a call from the airline telling me to stay in my warm and wonderful bed because the flight—all flights would be canceled.

The call never came, so I dutifully got up, packed, exercised and got ready for the trip ahead of me.

I was going to speak to a group of healers who worked at the University of Indiana Hospital in Bloomington, Indiana.

These are folks who have to do their jobs day in and day out while watching life’s inevitable three---suffering, death and change.

I pushed through my weakness and moment of “tired” and found that my flight was the only one on schedule for the day.

When I got to Bloomington, I was met by a sea of gratitude from people whose job is much harder with a lot less gratitude. Yet they showed up.

They have given me the inspiration that I need to tell you this; whatever you do, do it in love.

When you open your car door to set out on your journey, as you board a bus or train; do it with love in your heart and your mind.

When you send an email or cook a meal; when you smile; do so with an intention of love.

Yesterday, I met a woman who asked me how I was able to fast for 40 days. She said that every week on Wednesday and Friday she has the intention to fast for the day. She sets out to do it and then finds that she can’t. My heart beamed with joy; “Then you have fasted,” I told her.

“Your heart held the intention every week to do something and you think you didn’t accomplish it because you didn’t get through the whole day,” I asked her.

“I wish that I could be so diligent,” I said; “what love and commitment.”

Today, put the intention in your heart to be more loving. You may think you are loving enough; we need you to turn up the volume.

The world is looking for you; waiting for you to show up with a heart full of the mojo we need.

·         Smile brightly.

·         Sing to yourself.

·         Take deep breathes throughout the day.

·         Let someone in, in traffic.

·         Lead the way.

·         Give encouragement to a young person.

·         Pick up a piece of trash.

·         Massage your own feet and then thank them for the journey.

Love is the greatest thing there is. When everything else fails and ceases to exist; there will be love.

Turn up the volume of your heart and be the wake-up call we all need.

Be you, be well, be love.

Bertice Berry, PhD.

Order A Year to Wellness and start your journey in LOVE

What You Can Do To Live NOW

Get up and live...or not

What You can Do to Live Now

Too many folks are not living; they merely exist. The Universe needs a critical mass to push forward to love more fully.

To truly live is to truly love. We keep waiting for something or someone to come (or comeback) and tell us that the time is now.

Okay, I will be that voice. Today, blame your loud laughter and random hugs on me. When you give something to someone in need and the recipient asks you why, tell them because that crazy Bertice told me to do so.

Last week my friend and sister Renee sent me beautiful pair of earrings . I opened the box and squealed with delight. They were jade and looked like they had cost her a year’s salary.

As I began to put them back in the box, I thought about all of the upcoming events that I could wear them to; the special occasions that they would be worthy of and then I heard my own voice in my head and heart and it simply asked, “What are you waiting for?”

I took the earrings out of the box and put them on and have been wearing them ever since.

I put them on with a necklace that my brother Jerry and his wife, my sister Annette sent to me.

I have decided to enjoy the things that life, God, the Universe and Love have brought to me and I have decided to do so now.

I still have the patience to hold a present , opening it on a later day; one when I need a pick me up, but once it’s opened I’m enjoying it right then.

Life is for living and loving and being.

I’d love to write more, but I’ve got an early flight and an even earlier appointment with life.

Be you, be well, be living.

Bertice Berry, PhD.

Order a Year to Wellness and start living TODAY

Are You Restraning Your Self ?

Are you Restraining Yourself?

Last week while traveling, I noticed that my morning was off. I felt burdened with life, work and the expectations of others but the feeling didn’t last long.

I did an inventory of what I had done differently; I needed to quickly discern what had put me in such a foul mood. As I did a scan of my emotions from head to toe (because the mind lives in every cell of your being,) I knew what the problem was.

I went into the airport bathroom, removed the pantyhose I had put on for warmth to travel up North and all was right with the world.

I shared the story with my friend Bryn and she laughed and then said something that made us both sit up straight. “How often do we restrain our own selves?”

All weekend long, I thought about the schedules and deadlines I impose upon myself and then “kill” myself to adhere to. I often feel like I did when I got frost bite back in graduate school.

I lived in Kent, Ohio where I learned the real meaning of wind-chill. There had been a weather advisory, but because I had no TV and no time for the radio, I worked hard to complete a chapter of my dissertation and then went out to turn it in.

As soon as I stepped outside, I felt my heart race. My breathing was erratic, but I thought it was because I had been up all night working.

When I started my short walk to campus, a salt truck driver pulled over and yelled at me.

“Get in,” he said through the small slit in his window. “You can die out here.”

I tried to tell him that I would die if I got in his truck, but I couldn’t speak. He yelled that there was a weather advisory and that no one should be out.

It finally hit me why I felt as I did and I went back into my apartment. I had only been in the cold for a few moments but my arms and toes had already suffered from frost bite.

I completed my doctoral degree at the age of 26. No one said I had to; I did it because I needed to.

I’m grateful for my achievements and for my ability to work hard past the point of tired, but there is a price that we all must pay for burning the candle at both ends.

I still see patches of burned skin whenever I’m in freezing weather and I still have difficulty with feeling the need to meet the crazy timelines and demands of others.

But I’m also learning this; a self-imposed exile is still exile.

Time is a man-made construct; still, we can’t control it.

Always do your very best, but do it when it’s the best time for you to do it. You’ll get a lot more done and the work will be much better.

Be you, be well, be unfettered.

Bertice Berry, PhD.

Order a Year to Wellness and start your journey TODAY...or when your time is right

Art of Living Week 6--Living in the NOW, the Yesterday and the Tomorrow

My beauty today is a relection of what I
did in the past. My tomorrow is what I work on now

Living in the Now, the Yesterday AND the Tomorrow

I was very fortunate to learn the concept of deferred gratification when I was still young. This practice requires that you put off what you want to work on what you need.

I had lots of role models for this kind of lifestyle. Whenever I was in a hurry to get or do something I desired, my mother would admonish me by saying that Rome was not built in a day.

Under my breath I would mumble that it fell in one and then I’d hear from down the hall “No it didn’t, that had been happening for a long time.”

My godmother, Thelma Rainey was one of the best dressed women in Delaware. As the pastor’s wife, she said that part of her job was to look good, but she only did so on Sunday’s and special church services when visitors would be in attendance.

The rest of the time she said she dressed like her husband’s cleaning woman.

I always marveled at how she could buy an amazing dress and then hold it for just the right moment. She would wait to have the right jewelry, shoes, gloves and hat to match. If by chance she didn’t have just the right handkerchief, she’d wait until she did.

I only had a few dresses and could barely wait to put on anything new, but over time, these lessons of patience took root.

They did me well through graduate school and then on in life. Lately though, when I get something wonderful, I put it on right away. Even if I don’t go anywhere, I enjoy a gift I’ve been given right away.

Time is a tricky thing. We are told to live in the NOW and be present. Then we are told to plan for a future and learn from our past.

Today, I have a piece of mystery; magic if you will to share with you.

You can live in all three.

In your mind and dreams you can revisit your past to learn for your present and you can imagine your desired future before shaping and planning it.

The more deliberate you are in your planning, the more concrete and tangible the outcome.

This week, I will elaborate more on this idea of three-fold living but for now begin the practice with these thoughts:

·         What lesson do I need from my past right now? In other words, have I been in this situation before? Recall a moment when you have felt, recalled or experienced what you are experiencing now. What did you not do then, that you should do now?

·         What would you like your tomorrow to look like? Imagine it and dream it tonight, then recall and live it tomorrow.

·         What should you wait for? What should you do immediately? We often rush into something that can be done later, but procrastinate on the things we need to do now. Your spirit and intuition are your best voice, but unfortunately, we don’t use time to fine tune them.

What I see in the mirror is the reflection of what I’ve done in the past. What I’d like to become is what I am practicing now.

Be you, be well be a time-traveler.

Bertice Berry, PhD.

Order A Year to Wellness and start living TODAY

Immigration from The Inside Out

Immigration from The Inside Out

This week’s lesson has been on living from the inside out. It requires that you live your life and see things from the inside of the issue rather than from the surface.

I’ve been reading a book called Voodoo in my Blood; A Healers Journey from Surgeon to Shaman by my friend and sister Carolle Jean Murat, M.D.

Dr. Carolle was my GYN when I lived in San Diego. To visit her, you had to go to the Native American Reservation because her practice was all about helping women to heal. Until I read her book, I had no idea of the struggle she had both externally and internally with Western medicine.

Every woman I know dreads her annual check-up. Even when you are healthy, it’s not one you want to encounter. I should have known that there was magic involved with Dr. Carolle; I was always amazed when she’d pronounce that she was done because I never felt her start

She’d do a little dance and say, “That’s it.”

In her book, I also learned of the struggle of one who comes to the U. S. from another country in search of a better life.

If Americans are concerned about new immigrants taking their jobs, they should be. For the most part, these are folks who have battled the problems in their own country, have endured the struggle of learning a new language (most speak at the very least 3,) have had to endure the bureaucratic process and paperwork involved with getting here and have no problem with standing in lines.

Many come from countries where they have learned to respect their elders, authority, the government and all that is holy; in other words, they don’t make waves.

They are willing to defer gratification, putting off what they want until they can earn what they truly need.

In comparison, we have been spoiled, expecting to get what we want when we want it. We complain about the line at Starbucks and write letters of protest when our favorite television show has been cancelled.

I’m asking you to look closely at what immigrants bring to the country and then I want you to recall what your ancestors brought. Whether they were slave or free, this country is great because of our ancestor’s diversity. Nothing grows in a vacuum; the more you experience, the more you evolve.

I dare you to sit down and listen to the story of someone who came here from someplace else. Before you start comparing your own story, listen fully to theirs.

Learn of the silent struggle that they have not shared, but still live. Turn off your selfishness and hear the lesson you need to hold dear.

I’ve known Dr. Carolle for many years, but until I read her story, I had no idea why she lit up every room. I did not understand why I was willing to fly back from Savannah to San Diego for a simple pap smear. I did not fully comprehend the amazing power of this woman to heal your heart and all that ails you.

Do yourself another favor and get her book; I wasn’t able to put it down---which let me know that even from miles away, I was being healed. You see, after a serious concussion last year, it has taken me months to finish one book; something I usually did in one or two days.(Read more and Order)

As I read her words, I was strengthened and I was healed.

Whatever issue you are facing; look at it from the inside out. As you do, know that the surface is only the manifestation of a larger problem.

Be you be well, be inside out.

Bertice Berry, PhD.

Order A Year to Wellness and start your journey TODAY

 

 

Art of Living Week 5: Living Life Inside Out

Living Life Inside Out

Last week I wrote about seeing God everywhere and in everything. I love hearing from readers who enhance my ability to see.

One of the readers; a friend and teacher, Bebe Coker, wrote to me saying that she was inspired to be more Christ-like. I wrote back telling her that in my eyes she was upright and Divine.

Bebe is a poet and playwright; an activist who makes sure that no woman or child is left behind. She is involved in her community, bringing the arts to everyone from everyone and she puts her heart where her beliefs are. She has raised three very amazing daughters (See her daughter Joan, the surgeon here.) and lives the essence of Christ-like (especially when Jesus turned over the tables.)

I asked her how she could be a better representation and what she wrote back inspired today’s post.

“Berty, what you are writing about is living your life from the inside out,” she wrote.

“I will be next week,” I replied.

The idea of living from the inside out is something that I have been thinking about for weeks. We have been living from the outside in. Our image and status have become more important than our intention and heart.

We want people to like us based on what they see rather than who we be. At this stage in my life, I'd rather be seen as a caring teacher and guide than as a physically beautiful woman who turns heads.

Don’t get me wrong, I like being thought of as beautiful, but it’s time that we all take a look inside and then as Bebe wrote, turn things inside out.

Yesterday, I spoke my heart to a young woman who had been serving me with a negative attitude.

I had ordered a green tea and then when I noticed that the clerk had prepared a cold cup, I asked if she realized that I wanted it hot. She sighed and rolled her eyes. She put her hands on her hip and then turned to her associate and said, “I know what I’m doing.”

I smiled and showed her my heart. “Dear one,” I said, “We are not in competition, we are sisters. When you love yourself more, you will be able to love me too.”

The woman’s co-worker smiled a big smile and said “OOOOh, please tell her again.”

The young woman said that she was just tired, but the co-worker said that she always had a bad attitude and it was time someone told her. The woman became angry and looked at me with disdain, so my heart went into high gear.

“Sweeheart, what you think of me is of no concern to me, but I need you to love yourself, because you are too young and beautiful to miss the opportunity.”

This time, the young woman broke. I saw tears in her eyes and she smiled. Another young woman who had walked up behind me say, “Wow, I like that, I needed to hear that too.

I began to think about expressing more love and living my beliefs more boldly and I found myself smiling. I realized it because more people were smiling back at me.

I started laughing out loud and those around me laughed too.

We can continue to live as if money, status and looks are everything or we can begin to learn more, love more and share what we have.

When we do, we will find that out heart will manifest all that we desire.

This week, and every week that follows try this:

·         Share your story with someone who needs to hear it.

·         Tell a child that they are smart and beautiful.

·         Use love for correction; start with yourself.

·         Share your skills with someone who needs them.

·         Contact an old teacher and tell them what they did for you.

·         Read Voodoo in My Blood; A Healer’s Journey from Surgeon to Shaman by Carolle Jean Murat. It's an amazing story of an exceptional life.(Clcik here and read more)

As you begin to live from the inside out take notice of the fact that you will shine from within.

Be you, be well, be living.

Bertice Berry, PhD.

Order a Year to Wellness and start your journey TODAY